I see you'll never change, Donner. I want you to know that thanks to your
reindeer games, we're incredibly understaffed for Dec. 24th's shipment. Yes,
it is true: our facilities aren't maintained as well as they should, but you
can blame that on our booming economy and low unemployment. It's tough to
find blue collar workers willing to do the maintenance work. That's why
we're stuck with Hermie, the Associate Elf. We can't even afford your
housing, as we could in years' past, which is why you're all cramped in that
one tiny stall.
We're in a crunch right now. That is why it says very clearly in the
Reindeer Handbook, "No Touch and Gos on the Klausco Plant." You were given
due warning. You have been incredibly naughty and not very nice.
-Rudolph
-----Original Message-----
From: Anthony Tabacco [mailto:atabacco@california.com]
Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 12:55 PM
To: Kelly, Katie
Cc: ba-autox@autox.team.net
Subject: Re: Dear Santa (2)
Hermie,
Blitzen and both believe that we've never met you at the plant, but just to
clue you in, we are definitly not on "sabatical". Rudy is a total company
stooge. I'm sure that every elf has checked their plan by now and figured
out that the klausco.com IPO augered in early, and they are all under water.
To make it worse, we both got the the same
"not on company time" letter from the HMO. Hey, we were out there on our own
time doing touch and go's so deserving kids like Dennis can get tires. If
Rudy, who has his own marketing and music deals on the side, wants to get
his harness all in a bunch, he can gripe about plant maintenace. Did you
really think after "all these years" we can't land in our sleep?
Don
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kelly, Katie" <kkelly@spss.com>
To: "'Jim Ochi'" <jochi@liquidaudio.com>; "'Dennis & Sherry Armstrong'"
<miata@pacbell.net>; <navid@interwoven.com>; "Bay_Area_Autocross_List"
<ba-autox@autox.team.net>
Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 11:28 AM
Subject: RE: Dear Santa (2)
> MEMO TOP SECRET MEMO TOP SECRET MEMO TOP SECRET MEMO TOP SECRET
>
> Dear Hermie the Elf,
>
> As you were made well aware at our last meeting, the Donner and Blitzen
> debacle was supposed to remain in confidentiality, as per orders from
Santa.
> Look, we've got a big shipment coming up on the eve of the 24th. If people
> start finding out we're two reindeer short, they might get nervous, and
they
> might start asking questions. None of this makes for good publicity,
> especially with this rash of startup .coms appearing everywhere you turn.
> With our rising costs of wrapping paper, ribbon, let alone Reindeer Feed
> production, we'll be lucky to break even this year.
>
> If you want to keep your job, you're going to stay tight lipped about
this.
> As of now, Donner and Blitzen are FINE, and are merely taking a sabatical
> this year after all their years of fine service.
>
> Over and out,
> Rudolph
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Jim Ochi [mailto:jochi@liquidaudio.com]
> Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 11:19 AM
> To: Kelly, Katie; 'Dennis & Sherry Armstrong'; navid@interwoven.com;
> Bay_Area_Autocross_List
> Subject: RE: Dear Santa (2)
>
>
> Dear Dennis,
>
> Go ahead and get the Hoosiers - the Reindeer Feed technicians down at the
> lab have consumed way too much during the off season. Just last week,
> during rooftop training exercises to prepare for the big day, both Donner
> and Blitzen managed to fall through the roof of the training hut. Due to
> this unfortunate mishap, Santa has instituted a strict diet and training
> regimen to be followed year-round. This regimen should save on our
> Reindeer Feed costs, and lower our health insurance premiums, thus freeing
> up funds for Hoosiers.
>
> That said, full-tread Kumhos seem to be most totally excellent for the
more
> slippery locations, like GGF and Oakland, and for running in the
> rain. They also last much longer than the Hoosiers. And, you can drive
on
> them to the events. Hoosiers appear to be faster on concrete and stickier
> surfaces, like 3com. At least, this has been our experience on our
> relatively heavy sleigh.
>
> Sincerely,
> Hermie the elf
>
>
>
> At 10:42 AM 12/6/2000 -0800, Kelly, Katie wrote:
> >Dear Dennis,
> >
> >Contrary to popular myth, you don't need Hoosiers to win, especially on a
> >Miata. Kumhos work just GREAT, and they'll last a lot longer, meaning
more
> >Reindeer Feed for you.
> >
> >I am a strong proponent of Reindeer Feed. I conduct Reindeer Feed testing
> >down at the Lab. I was once a Feed Engineer, but I was promoted to Feed
> Lead
> >about six months ago. It's a tough job, managing this crew of about
eight.
> >They're good on the inside, but a bit cliquish. It took a long time
before
> >they saw the light through the fog. But I stuck with it, followed my nose
> so
> >to speak.
> >
> >I am very proud of our product, and I agree with you - tires should never
> >interfere with Feed Consumption.
> >
> >Sincerely,
> >Rudolph
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: Dennis & Sherry Armstrong [mailto:miata@pacbell.net]
> >Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 9:35 AM
> >To: navid@interwoven.com; Bay_Area_Autocross_List
> >Subject: Dear Santa (2)
> >
> >
> > Dear Santa
> >I was informed by Misses Claus That the additional cost of
> >Hoosiers would put a shortage on Reindeer Feed. & have
> > a large impact on Christmas for the Children.
> >
> > I know all my friends play on Hoosiers, But I think they
> >would let me play with them on Kumhos. After all I don't
> >need to win, Just play along. I will get in big trouble with
> >my mom if I play to win & neglect my HOMEWORK!!!
> >
> > Dennis Michael Armstrong
> >
> >P.S. A renewal of North American Pylon
> >would also be nice.
> >
> >
> >
> >----- Original Message -----
> >From: "Navid Kahangi" <nkahangi@interwoven.com>
> >To: "Dennis & Sherry Armstrong" <miata@pacbell.net>;
> >"Bay_Area_Autocross_List" <ba-autox@autox.team.net>
> >Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2000 2:10 PM
> >Subject: RE: Dear Santa
> >
> >
> > > Dear Dennis,
> > >
> > > I am considering your request, but I'm wondering if you are making s
> > > mistake! All of your autocross friends are asking for Hoosiers this
> year.
> > > Some of them don't even play with their perfectly good Kumhos and BFGs
> >that
> > > they got last year anymore.
> > >
> > > I have checked your record and you have indeed been a good boy. And
to
> be
> > > honest, we have a lot of Kumhos here in stock at the North pole. But
> are
> > > you sure you don't want to go with some Hoosiers?
> > >
> > > --Santa
> > > Not sponsored by Hoosier
> > >
> > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > From: owner-ba-autox@autox.team.net
> > > > [mailto:owner-ba-autox@autox.team.net]On Behalf Of Dennis & Sherry
> > > > Armstrong
> > > > Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2000 12:47 PM
> > > > To: Bay_Area_Autocross_List
> > > > Subject: Dear Santa
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Dear Santa
> > > > I have been a good boy this year. I have been spending more
> > > > time with my Family, I have been helping out my wife around
> > > > the house. I have even gone the extra mile & helped out
> > > > customers, & my co-workers. I even took a Vacation Day
> > > > today to go to my Daughters School Play.
> > > >
> > > > All I want for Christmas is a set of Kumho Race Tires. Just
> > > > put them under the Christmas Tree on Christmas morning.
> > > > I would also like to get them Heat Cycled if possible, But I
> > > > will take them any way possible. I would like to have them
> > > > before next season so I can play autocross with my friends.
> > > >
> > > > I will leave milk and cookies for you by the fireplace, Or
> > > > anything else you may like.
> > > >
> > > > Dennis Michael Armstrong
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