Rudolph -
Where do you get the right to tell me what to do? Just 6 months ago you
were a lowly nothing, bottom reindeer on the totem pole. You would beg the
other reindeers to play in their games - when they wouldn't let you, us
elves would take time out from our busy schedule to play with you. Even if
it meant working an additional 4 hours to make our toy quotas, we would
still take the time to make a piddly little reindeer happy. Then, you got
your promotion, and everything changed. All of a sudden you were too good
to associate with elves. You've been treating us as your lackeys, and this
must stop. I've contacted our union representative, and unless we are
treated with the respect we deserve, the elves are going out on strike.
Please relay this to the rest of the corrupt capitalist upper management
running dogs that you associate with.
Hermie the Elf
P.S. - if you don't lay off, I'll release the REAL story of how you got your
nose to glow. I'm pretty sure that puts you in the "Naughty" category.
Along with Mrs. Claus...
P.P.S. - I also have pictures.
-----Original Message-----
From: Kelly, Katie [mailto:kkelly@spss.com]
Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 11:28 AM
To: 'Jim Ochi'; 'Dennis & Sherry Armstrong'; navid@interwoven.com;
Bay_Area_Autocross_List
Subject: RE: Dear Santa (2)
MEMO TOP SECRET MEMO TOP SECRET MEMO TOP SECRET MEMO TOP SECRET
Dear Hermie the Elf,
As you were made well aware at our last meeting, the Donner and Blitzen
debacle was supposed to remain in confidentiality, as per orders from Santa.
Look, we've got a big shipment coming up on the eve of the 24th. If people
start finding out we're two reindeer short, they might get nervous, and they
might start asking questions. None of this makes for good publicity,
especially with this rash of startup .coms appearing everywhere you turn.
With our rising costs of wrapping paper, ribbon, let alone Reindeer Feed
production, we'll be lucky to break even this year.
If you want to keep your job, you're going to stay tight lipped about this.
As of now, Donner and Blitzen are FINE, and are merely taking a sabatical
this year after all their years of fine service.
Over and out,
Rudolph
-----Original Message-----
From: Jim Ochi [mailto:jochi@liquidaudio.com]
Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 11:19 AM
To: Kelly, Katie; 'Dennis & Sherry Armstrong'; navid@interwoven.com;
Bay_Area_Autocross_List
Subject: RE: Dear Santa (2)
Dear Dennis,
Go ahead and get the Hoosiers - the Reindeer Feed technicians down at the
lab have consumed way too much during the off season. Just last week,
during rooftop training exercises to prepare for the big day, both Donner
and Blitzen managed to fall through the roof of the training hut. Due to
this unfortunate mishap, Santa has instituted a strict diet and training
regimen to be followed year-round. This regimen should save on our
Reindeer Feed costs, and lower our health insurance premiums, thus freeing
up funds for Hoosiers.
That said, full-tread Kumhos seem to be most totally excellent for the more
slippery locations, like GGF and Oakland, and for running in the
rain. They also last much longer than the Hoosiers. And, you can drive on
them to the events. Hoosiers appear to be faster on concrete and stickier
surfaces, like 3com. At least, this has been our experience on our
relatively heavy sleigh.
Sincerely,
Hermie the elf
At 10:42 AM 12/6/2000 -0800, Kelly, Katie wrote:
>Dear Dennis,
>
>Contrary to popular myth, you don't need Hoosiers to win, especially on a
>Miata. Kumhos work just GREAT, and they'll last a lot longer, meaning more
>Reindeer Feed for you.
>
>I am a strong proponent of Reindeer Feed. I conduct Reindeer Feed testing
>down at the Lab. I was once a Feed Engineer, but I was promoted to Feed
Lead
>about six months ago. It's a tough job, managing this crew of about eight.
>They're good on the inside, but a bit cliquish. It took a long time before
>they saw the light through the fog. But I stuck with it, followed my nose
so
>to speak.
>
>I am very proud of our product, and I agree with you - tires should never
>interfere with Feed Consumption.
>
>Sincerely,
>Rudolph
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Dennis & Sherry Armstrong [mailto:miata@pacbell.net]
>Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 9:35 AM
>To: navid@interwoven.com; Bay_Area_Autocross_List
>Subject: Dear Santa (2)
>
>
> Dear Santa
>I was informed by Misses Claus That the additional cost of
>Hoosiers would put a shortage on Reindeer Feed. & have
> a large impact on Christmas for the Children.
>
> I know all my friends play on Hoosiers, But I think they
>would let me play with them on Kumhos. After all I don't
>need to win, Just play along. I will get in big trouble with
>my mom if I play to win & neglect my HOMEWORK!!!
>
> Dennis Michael Armstrong
>
>P.S. A renewal of North American Pylon
>would also be nice.
>
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Navid Kahangi" <nkahangi@interwoven.com>
>To: "Dennis & Sherry Armstrong" <miata@pacbell.net>;
>"Bay_Area_Autocross_List" <ba-autox@autox.team.net>
>Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2000 2:10 PM
>Subject: RE: Dear Santa
>
>
> > Dear Dennis,
> >
> > I am considering your request, but I'm wondering if you are making s
> > mistake! All of your autocross friends are asking for Hoosiers this
year.
> > Some of them don't even play with their perfectly good Kumhos and BFGs
>that
> > they got last year anymore.
> >
> > I have checked your record and you have indeed been a good boy. And to
be
> > honest, we have a lot of Kumhos here in stock at the North pole. But
are
> > you sure you don't want to go with some Hoosiers?
> >
> > --Santa
> > Not sponsored by Hoosier
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: owner-ba-autox@autox.team.net
> > > [mailto:owner-ba-autox@autox.team.net]On Behalf Of Dennis & Sherry
> > > Armstrong
> > > Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2000 12:47 PM
> > > To: Bay_Area_Autocross_List
> > > Subject: Dear Santa
> > >
> > >
> > > Dear Santa
> > > I have been a good boy this year. I have been spending more
> > > time with my Family, I have been helping out my wife around
> > > the house. I have even gone the extra mile & helped out
> > > customers, & my co-workers. I even took a Vacation Day
> > > today to go to my Daughters School Play.
> > >
> > > All I want for Christmas is a set of Kumho Race Tires. Just
> > > put them under the Christmas Tree on Christmas morning.
> > > I would also like to get them Heat Cycled if possible, But I
> > > will take them any way possible. I would like to have them
> > > before next season so I can play autocross with my friends.
> > >
> > > I will leave milk and cookies for you by the fireplace, Or
> > > anything else you may like.
> > >
> > > Dennis Michael Armstrong
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