Not Fed Ex!
Donner, what the hoof is going on here.
Rudolph
-----Original Message-----
From: Anthony Tabacco [mailto:atabacco@california.com]
Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 1:30 PM
To: Kelly, Katie
Cc: ba-autox@autox.team.net
Subject: Re: Dear Santa (2)
Wake up and smell the tundra, Rudy! Guess who took the corporate sleigh to
meet with the fed-ex people last week? Do I have to draw you a flight plan?
Don
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kelly, Katie" <kkelly@spss.com>
To: "'Anthony Tabacco'" <atabacco@california.com>
Cc: <ba-autox@autox.team.net>
Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 1:24 PM
Subject: RE: Dear Santa (2)
> I see you'll never change, Donner. I want you to know that thanks to your
> reindeer games, we're incredibly understaffed for Dec. 24th's shipment.
Yes,
> it is true: our facilities aren't maintained as well as they should, but
you
> can blame that on our booming economy and low unemployment. It's tough to
> find blue collar workers willing to do the maintenance work. That's why
> we're stuck with Hermie, the Associate Elf. We can't even afford your
> housing, as we could in years' past, which is why you're all cramped in
that
> one tiny stall.
>
> We're in a crunch right now. That is why it says very clearly in the
> Reindeer Handbook, "No Touch and Gos on the Klausco Plant." You were given
> due warning. You have been incredibly naughty and not very nice.
>
> -Rudolph
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Anthony Tabacco [mailto:atabacco@california.com]
> Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 12:55 PM
> To: Kelly, Katie
> Cc: ba-autox@autox.team.net
> Subject: Re: Dear Santa (2)
>
>
> Hermie,
> Blitzen and both believe that we've never met you at the plant, but just
to
> clue you in, we are definitly not on "sabatical". Rudy is a total company
> stooge. I'm sure that every elf has checked their plan by now and figured
> out that the klausco.com IPO augered in early, and they are all under
water.
> To make it worse, we both got the the same
> "not on company time" letter from the HMO. Hey, we were out there on our
own
> time doing touch and go's so deserving kids like Dennis can get tires. If
> Rudy, who has his own marketing and music deals on the side, wants to get
> his harness all in a bunch, he can gripe about plant maintenace. Did you
> really think after "all these years" we can't land in our sleep?
> Don
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Kelly, Katie" <kkelly@spss.com>
> To: "'Jim Ochi'" <jochi@liquidaudio.com>; "'Dennis & Sherry Armstrong'"
> <miata@pacbell.net>; <navid@interwoven.com>; "Bay_Area_Autocross_List"
> <ba-autox@autox.team.net>
> Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 11:28 AM
> Subject: RE: Dear Santa (2)
>
>
> > MEMO TOP SECRET MEMO TOP SECRET MEMO TOP SECRET MEMO TOP SECRET
> >
> > Dear Hermie the Elf,
> >
> > As you were made well aware at our last meeting, the Donner and Blitzen
> > debacle was supposed to remain in confidentiality, as per orders from
> Santa.
> > Look, we've got a big shipment coming up on the eve of the 24th. If
people
> > start finding out we're two reindeer short, they might get nervous, and
> they
> > might start asking questions. None of this makes for good publicity,
> > especially with this rash of startup .coms appearing everywhere you
turn.
> > With our rising costs of wrapping paper, ribbon, let alone Reindeer Feed
> > production, we'll be lucky to break even this year.
> >
> > If you want to keep your job, you're going to stay tight lipped about
> this.
> > As of now, Donner and Blitzen are FINE, and are merely taking a
sabatical
> > this year after all their years of fine service.
> >
> > Over and out,
> > Rudolph
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Jim Ochi [mailto:jochi@liquidaudio.com]
> > Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 11:19 AM
> > To: Kelly, Katie; 'Dennis & Sherry Armstrong'; navid@interwoven.com;
> > Bay_Area_Autocross_List
> > Subject: RE: Dear Santa (2)
> >
> >
> > Dear Dennis,
> >
> > Go ahead and get the Hoosiers - the Reindeer Feed technicians down at
the
> > lab have consumed way too much during the off season. Just last week,
> > during rooftop training exercises to prepare for the big day, both
Donner
> > and Blitzen managed to fall through the roof of the training hut. Due
to
> > this unfortunate mishap, Santa has instituted a strict diet and training
> > regimen to be followed year-round. This regimen should save on our
> > Reindeer Feed costs, and lower our health insurance premiums, thus
freeing
> > up funds for Hoosiers.
> >
> > That said, full-tread Kumhos seem to be most totally excellent for the
> more
> > slippery locations, like GGF and Oakland, and for running in the
> > rain. They also last much longer than the Hoosiers. And, you can drive
> on
> > them to the events. Hoosiers appear to be faster on concrete and
stickier
> > surfaces, like 3com. At least, this has been our experience on our
> > relatively heavy sleigh.
> >
> > Sincerely,
> > Hermie the elf
> >
> >
> >
> > At 10:42 AM 12/6/2000 -0800, Kelly, Katie wrote:
> > >Dear Dennis,
> > >
> > >Contrary to popular myth, you don't need Hoosiers to win, especially on
a
> > >Miata. Kumhos work just GREAT, and they'll last a lot longer, meaning
> more
> > >Reindeer Feed for you.
> > >
> > >I am a strong proponent of Reindeer Feed. I conduct Reindeer Feed
testing
> > >down at the Lab. I was once a Feed Engineer, but I was promoted to Feed
> > Lead
> > >about six months ago. It's a tough job, managing this crew of about
> eight.
> > >They're good on the inside, but a bit cliquish. It took a long time
> before
> > >they saw the light through the fog. But I stuck with it, followed my
nose
> > so
> > >to speak.
> > >
> > >I am very proud of our product, and I agree with you - tires should
never
> > >interfere with Feed Consumption.
> > >
> > >Sincerely,
> > >Rudolph
> > >
> > >-----Original Message-----
> > >From: Dennis & Sherry Armstrong [mailto:miata@pacbell.net]
> > >Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2000 9:35 AM
> > >To: navid@interwoven.com; Bay_Area_Autocross_List
> > >Subject: Dear Santa (2)
> > >
> > >
> > > Dear Santa
> > >I was informed by Misses Claus That the additional cost of
> > >Hoosiers would put a shortage on Reindeer Feed. & have
> > > a large impact on Christmas for the Children.
> > >
> > > I know all my friends play on Hoosiers, But I think they
> > >would let me play with them on Kumhos. After all I don't
> > >need to win, Just play along. I will get in big trouble with
> > >my mom if I play to win & neglect my HOMEWORK!!!
> > >
> > > Dennis Michael Armstrong
> > >
> > >P.S. A renewal of North American Pylon
> > >would also be nice.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >----- Original Message -----
> > >From: "Navid Kahangi" <nkahangi@interwoven.com>
> > >To: "Dennis & Sherry Armstrong" <miata@pacbell.net>;
> > >"Bay_Area_Autocross_List" <ba-autox@autox.team.net>
> > >Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2000 2:10 PM
> > >Subject: RE: Dear Santa
> > >
> > >
> > > > Dear Dennis,
> > > >
> > > > I am considering your request, but I'm wondering if you are making s
> > > > mistake! All of your autocross friends are asking for Hoosiers this
> > year.
> > > > Some of them don't even play with their perfectly good Kumhos and
BFGs
> > >that
> > > > they got last year anymore.
> > > >
> > > > I have checked your record and you have indeed been a good boy. And
> to
> > be
> > > > honest, we have a lot of Kumhos here in stock at the North pole.
But
> > are
> > > > you sure you don't want to go with some Hoosiers?
> > > >
> > > > --Santa
> > > > Not sponsored by Hoosier
> > > >
> > > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > > From: owner-ba-autox@autox.team.net
> > > > > [mailto:owner-ba-autox@autox.team.net]On Behalf Of Dennis & Sherry
> > > > > Armstrong
> > > > > Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2000 12:47 PM
> > > > > To: Bay_Area_Autocross_List
> > > > > Subject: Dear Santa
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Dear Santa
> > > > > I have been a good boy this year. I have been spending more
> > > > > time with my Family, I have been helping out my wife around
> > > > > the house. I have even gone the extra mile & helped out
> > > > > customers, & my co-workers. I even took a Vacation Day
> > > > > today to go to my Daughters School Play.
> > > > >
> > > > > All I want for Christmas is a set of Kumho Race Tires. Just
> > > > > put them under the Christmas Tree on Christmas morning.
> > > > > I would also like to get them Heat Cycled if possible, But I
> > > > > will take them any way possible. I would like to have them
> > > > > before next season so I can play autocross with my friends.
> > > > >
> > > > > I will leave milk and cookies for you by the fireplace, Or
> > > > > anything else you may like.
> > > > >
> > > > > Dennis Michael Armstrong
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