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SQUAWK AND MORE

To: triumphs <triumphs@autox.team.net>
Subject: SQUAWK AND MORE
From: "Arthur H. Smith" <arthurhsmith@compuserve.com>
Date: Wed, 3 Feb 1999 08:34:47 -0500
Something i got from the Jag list


Here are some actual maintenance complaints generally known as squawks or
problems submitted recently by Qantas pilots to maintenance engineers.

After attending to the squawks prior to the aircraft's next flight,the
maintenance crews are required to log the details of action taken as a
solution to the pilots squawks. The following are some recent squawks and
subsequent responses by maintenance crews.
> >
(P) is the problem logged by the pilot, and (S) marks the solution and
action taken by maintenance engineers.

> > ***
> > (P) Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
> > (S) Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
> > ***
> > (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
> > (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
> > ***
> > (P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
> > (S) #2 propeller seepage normal - - #1, #3 and #4 propellers lack
normal seepage.
> > ***
> > (P) Something loose in cockpit.
> > (S) Something tightened in cockpit.
> > ***
> > (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> > (S) Evidence removed.
> > ***
> > (P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
> > (S) Volume set to more believable level.
> > ***
> > (P) Dead bugs on windshield.
> > (S) Live bugs on backorder.
> > ***
> > (P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
> > (S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> > ***
> > (P) IFF inoperative.
> > (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> > ***
> > (P) Friction lock causes throttle levers to stick.
> > (S) That's what they're there for!!
> > ***
> > (P) Number three engine missing.
> > (S) Engine three found on right wing after brief search.
> > ***
> > (P) Aircraft handles funny.
> > (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious!!
> > ***
> > (P) Target Radar hums.
> > (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.
> > ***

>
THEN THERE WAS THIS FROM THE LIST

Last Saturday's Financial Times (30 January) carries the sad tale of a
Series III XJ receiving half a dozen eggs in the radiator as an emergency
head gasket repair while en route to a second hand dealer in Streatham
(UK). The driver got £100 for it (caveat emptor if you are currently being
offered a cheap SIII by a South London car dealer). The article doesn't say
whether the eggs were free range or battery.



The arthur
kit car aka 69 GT6
garage ornament aka 82 Jag
boxy thing on wheels aka ford aerostar

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