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Re: Santa speaks (was: Dear Santa (2))

To: <Smokerbros@aol.com>, <atabacco@california.com>, <ba-autox@autox.team.net>
Subject: Re: Santa speaks (was: Dear Santa (2))
From: "Scot Zediker" <roadsterboy@earthlink.net>
Date: Wed, 6 Dec 2000 19:07:40 -0800
If I may add some clarification here...

The Ol' Fart sez:
> Let's clear some things up.
>
> 1)  Tony, Scotty and Dennis weren't as good as they claim.  Out using up
> fossil fuels racing around in parking lots!  Indeed!  There may not be any
> wheels, tires, or roll bars for any of them (at least from me.)  In
addition
> these are bulky items that my lame-a** crew of reindeer probably can't get
> into the sky, and I can't get down the chimneys.  Ever heard of relatives?
> Ask THEM for this stuff!

To their credit, Tony, Scotty and Dennis were doing so in very
fuel-efficient cars.  I know that all three of them use these cars on a
daily basis and thus contribute less to pollution and depletion of
nonrenewable energy than, say, a certain individual whose name isn't
important who drives a modified V8-powered car and tows it behind a
full-size pickup truck.  Tony's roll bar and Dennis' Kumhos are indeed
heavy, but I have it on good authority that the wheels Scotty is requesting
are quite light.

> 2)  Speaking of reindeer, let's straighten this little deal out.  Rudy is
a
> kiss-a** and I'm tired of it.  Besides, with global positioning, that red
> nose is hardly needed anymore.  Rudy told Don and Blitz that I said to do
> touch and go's, and figured they'd die in the crash and he wouldn't get
> busted.  So, they're back, at least for this year.

I am in complete agreement about Rudy, particularly since he's started
hanging out with Hermie.

> 3)  Yes, we're working on a Fed-Ex deal, but they're damn near as lame as
the
> reindeer, so it's not going to happen this year.

Thank God!  Surely you are aware how difficult it is to find a new job at
this time of year, sir.  I am gratified to know that my job is secure at
least through the end of the year.

> 4)  Hermie and his twin half brother (don't ask, you DON'T want to know
the
> details!) Jesse are motivated for 2001, though.  Jesse can't wait to make
> Reindeer menudo and sell it through a little store in the barrio.  Just
for
> the record, Jesse's sentence was reduced when he signed a statement that
he
> wouldn't drive tube frame cars in Prepared anymore...

Jesse is NOT coming anywhere near me and Don with that damn meatgrinder.

Sincerely,
Blitz

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