Joe Curry wrote:
>
> Well, You know you are in Southern Arizona if:
>
> 10. There is no School tax.
> 9. Drivers licenses are renewed every 25 years!
> 8. The big event of the week is playing bumper cars in the WAL*MART parking
>lot (With real cars)
> 7. The cops driving around in the "Sheriff's Assist Vehicles" are all over
>60, don't carry guns and can't issue citations.
> 6. You have to be at least 65 years old to live in certain communities.
> 5. Everybody gets a senior discount.
> 4. All cars have non functional turn signal cancellation devices.
> 3. Tires are replaced more often because the sidewalls are worn out than the
>tread.
> 2. There are designated Golf cart lanes
> 1. The little old lady who just pulled up beside you at the light in the
>biggest Cadillac you ever saw, reached in the passenger seat for binoculars
> so she could see the light change!
Funny (or, rather, I should say it is now, since I haven't _quite_
reached the age requiring 24-hour geriatric care <smile>).
I know I've offered this up to the list in the distant past, but along
the same lines, there is this, for the benefit of the recent additions
to the list:
When I first moved to Florida, in the early `80s, I then had to get my
insurance transferred, but no one in Pensacola did business with the
insurer I had in Michigan. I went to a Metropolitan insurance agent
recommended by someone, and the rates were, quite literally, highway
robbery (I eventually found much cheaper coverage). In defense of the
rates, though ("we have a lot of senior citizens on the road here"), the
agent showed me a newspaper article sent to him by a fellow agent in the
Dade County area.
It described an atypical accident as described by a state trooper parked
nearby: "I was about to get into my cruiser, when I noticed a
fender-bender in progress on the cross-street. An elderly woman
apparently dropped her foot from the brake pedal, and her car bumped the
car in front of her while they were waiting for the light to change. She
must have gotten flustered, put the car in reverse and floored it,
ramming the car behind. This got her really upset, because she put it in
drive and floored it again, this time, pushing the car in front of her
into the cross-traffic, where it ran into another car and that car was
pushed into one coming from the opposite direction. She apparently still
had the accelerator floored, because her car shot across the
intersection between the damaged cars, then jumped an island into the
oncoming traffic.
"At this point, she swerved to miss a car, went onto the lot of a gas
station, drove through three gas pumps, ignited the gasoline, and flames
went a hundred feet in the air. The automatic extinguishers immediately
put out the fires, and she drove into a catch-fence at the opposite end
of the lot. I thought it was a stunt for a movie until I realized there
weren't any cameras around."
Cheers.
--
Michael D. Porter
Roswell, NM (yes, _that_ Roswell)
[mailto:mporter@zianet.com]
`70 GT6+ (being refurbished, slowly)
`72 GT6 Mk. III (organ donor)
`72 GT6 Mk. III (daily driver)
`64 TR4 (awaiting intensive care)
`80 TR7 (3.8 liter Buick-powered)
`86 Nissan 300ZX (the minimal-maintenance road car)
`68 VW Type II Camper (Lancia twin-cam powered, but feeling its age....)
Remember: Math and alcohol do not mix... do not drink and derive.
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