OK, OK, here's the scoop. Its last Friday night and the cute little five
year old twins known as David and Roberta are playing with their pet guinea
pig Angel. Let loose in their room it has fast becoming a mini version of
the "Running of the Bulls" which Roberta calls "Running with the pig."
Little Angel suddenly pops out from under a kids bed and decides to take a
bite of my finger. "Yeow!" I yell as it clamps on to my index finger and is
hanging there as I try to shake it off. Buck teeth right at the base of the
finger where it meets the hand. (Remember Peter Sellers: "Does your dog
bite?" "Ow!" "That's not my dog!") I finally shake the critter loose and
there's blood. Now we've all cut our selves making dinner, working on
projects and cars and knives not put away properly, but this was like a
movie. Both hands are red and its going down both forearms heading for the
carpet. We all know if you get blood on the carpet you better be dead when
mama finds it. "David - go get mommy, quick!" "Dad I'm busy reading my
book." "C'mon Dave, help your Dad here!" Roberta then offers "Daddy, I'll
get you a Harry Potter bandaid" I'm gonna need a roll of paper towels at this
point! And where the hell's the damn pig?
So I wash it off and put on a bunch of bacitracin and a few bandages. Feels
a little sore but OK in the morning. Pig's in a cage on death row.
The next night kids are in bed and we're watching a movie and I notice this
finger is pretty stiff and swollen. Call the ER and they think it should be
looked at. I drive over at 10pm on Saturday night and get in line with the
DUI's and gun shots. Doctor takes a look at it and says "We have to admit
you to the hospital. Now." Huh? Its a little cut. "And we better get the
orthopedic hand specialist to look at it" Huh? "Hey - I have some business
meetings to go to Monday and Tuesday. Wrap it up and I'll come in early
Wednesday." "By then we'll have to cut you open." Huh? So they hook me up
to an IV antibiotic and say I have some infection and need to be on the IV
ASAP as it can become complicated as a vein or 'tendon sheath' infection real
easy. "You mean I'm going into the hospital - NOW?" "Yes," the nurse says,
"didn't your mother tell you to always put on clean underwear when you leave
the house . . . just in case?" So they hook me up and wheel me in. Where's
that damn pig?
Just go to a hospital to remind your self how good you're doing compared to
those in there. But what the hell. Maybe I need to slow down a bit, we're
all over booking our time. So I kick back, grab the remote and give the
nurse a bunch of singles to grab me some food from the vending machines. No
special diet here - I'm a Thicko!
So they tell me I'll be hooked up to the IV for a few days. I tell the
nurse(s) I have some important meetings I need to go to Monday and Tuesday.
Not one, two or three, but all four nurses - on separate occasions ask me
where are you traveling to? "New Jersey." I say. "Oh, Are you going to meet
with Tony? Ha ha ha!" Everyone is waiting for the big Sopranos finale. Very
funny. Hey, how about a sponge bath?
Meet with the doctor and he agrees its not too horrible. I tell him I wanna
get out of here. So he changes the IV to a new mega antibiotic and gives me
an RX for orals to bring along. Jan brings me a suitcase with all my stuff.
Car is already there - this ER has valet parking! 3am I get up and tell the
nurses I am leaving. I sign myself out and they un hook me. Take a quick
shower, shave, dress for work and head to O'Hare. Catch my plane -- mission
accomplished!
Today it looks good and the bandage is gone. Now where is that damn pig?!
___________________________________________________________________
In a message dated 12/12/02 3:16:20 PM, wsthompson@thicko.com writes:
<< Rumor has it, that Dr. D. is typing up the story...(one handed, his other
hand now a useless bloody stump, hanging motionless at his side...)
----- Original Message -----
From: "Wm. Severin Thompson" <wsthompson@thicko.com>
To: <Zeke5550@aol.com>
Cc: <team-thicko@autox.team.net>
Sent: Thursday, December 12, 2002 1:04 PM
Subject: Re: Queasy xmas
> see? Perspiring minds want to know...
>
> Dr D's a little slow in typing up the story, as the brutal attack has left
> his hand nearly useless...
>
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <Zeke5550@aol.com>
> To: <wsthompson@thicko.com>
> Cc: <team-thicko@autox.team.net>
> Sent: Thursday, December 12, 2002 12:54 PM
> Subject: Re: Queasy xmas
>
>
> > Mauling . . . . What mauling?? >>
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