On 10/20/99 Greg Petrolati wrote:
>NO! NO!! don't do that!!!!
>You might leave a cat...
>God knows I got enough of them!
Cats, where the hell did they ever come
from? That reminds me of something that
happened exactly 23 years ago...
Back in the 70's my first wife had a cat.
What a black bitch (the cat). One autumn
day I decided I had about enough shit
from that piece of work. I put the sucker
in a cardboard box, punched air holes in
it, put the closed box in the back seat of
my '67 Firebird and headed for farm
country. I was going to be nice about
this and let the useless Bag of Hair live.
Well, don't you know... that bastard threw
a fit and got out of the box while I'm driving
around looking for a spot to dump it. The
first thing it does is jump on my right shoulder
digging its claws 1/4" into my flesh, and starts
screaming like a banshee. That was the last
straw. I drew the line at physical pain. This cat
was going somewhere, anywhere, right now.
I grabbed the feline by the neck and ripped
it off my shoulder with my left hand while
steering with my right. Yikes - did that hurt
(while doing 50mph). I yelled "tuck & roll!"
and threw that Cat from Hell right out the
driver's window - with only incidental contact
with the windshield pillar. But it was just
enough contact to lessen the flight time.
I immediately looked in my rearview mirror
to gleefully see that black cat skidding
down the road just on the other side of the
double yellows. Wheeeeeeee! Oooooooh!
Damn! That oncoming car - which I never
even noticed in my time of pain - just missed it!
By the time the cat slowed down to about a
10-15 mph slide, it suddenly made a miraculous
correction. It took off in full stride across the road
onto a fairway of a county golf course.
With 8 lives left.
Never to be seen again.
So - all you black cats out there - just go ahead
and try something. Make my day. Tuck & roll.
Happy Halloween ;-)
Side
(Happy owner of '92 and '96 Golden Retrievers)
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