I do believe that the MG marketplace has been opened up to a whole new line
of concept products that I will be exploiting soon enough. The only thing
that held us back was that the MG mind was not ready for the concept. Water
Wetter has blazed a new trail in auto-land; A paradigm shift in market
place opportunities for the innovative! My line will include a whole line
of "er" and "ier" products. The following is a short list of the things we
here at ER, Inc. will be offering soon. Not only will this list stimulate
17,000 threads of useless information, but will revive the now sorely
misssed cyber-debate on the proper use of lists and profiteering!
1. Oil Oilier - It's just oilier than oil. You add it to your oil and it
gets oilier. Now, if oily is good it stands to reason that oilier has to
be better! This miracle product doesn't just reduce surface tension to put
oil molecules into intimate contact with metal, It actually rams the
molecules there similar to how a rush hour Japan subway pusher operates.
2. Slick 50 Slicker. - Not for the faint of heart! If you loved Oil Oilier,
you are bound to be swept off your feet by slick slicker. It is so slick
that we could not use conventional containers to hold the stuff in. It
just slipped away! This product is held in place by force fields! We will
be selling our patented Force Field 2000 soon so you can contail our
products at home.
3. Grease Greasier 2000 - A new product for the next millenium! It's like
concentrated Oil Oilier in a tube! It has the remarkable space age
technology of our Oil Oilier, but now comes in a thicker form - so thick
that we have to call it the greasiest grease known to modern man. Just one
shot of Grease Greasier in your zerk nipples and you'll be slippin and
slidin' all over the place. And think of the joy you'll get as you slide
that grease fitting onto that nipple and feed those dried up joints with
this stimulating, life giving formula.
4. Lucas Lucaser - Electron Accelerator. You think your lights are bright,
now? You satisfied with that dated dull tick, tick, tick of your fuel
pump? I would think not. Now with this new product, based on the proven
abilities of Oil Oilier, your electron flow is so fast that everything it
touches will get electron transfer at even faster SUPERCHARGED rates. Up
till now, you had to put up with electron flow that would simply not move
faster than the speed of light. But our Lucas Lucasier enables electron to
become super lubricated along the same lines as our other tested products,
and those little charged buggers actually break the light barrier. The
result? Your clock actually spins BACKWARDS, your gas tank overflows and
you lose 3 months of age with each MG tour you go on, and your car returns
to the drawing board at Abingdon!. You've learned the importance of
lubrication to moving metal parts, just imagine what it can do for
electricity.
Stay tuned for more breakthrough products from us here at ER, inc. We are
constantly striving to make your life better and more fulfilled through
research carefully conducted by me and my dog. We have harnessed the super
lubricating qualities of snail slime extract and put it to work with modern
plasma technology to slip you the big one in lubrication. Our next
generation of products will focus on ageing wrinkling and drying of all
kinds!
On the Drawing Board: MG MGER. It makes cute cars just too damn cute.
DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT EXPERIMENT BY COMBINING ANY ER, INC PRODUCTS ON
YOUR OWN. YOU MAY HAVE DIFFICULTY OBTAINING THE MINIMUM NECESSARY FRICTION
TO PERFORM MOST COMMON TASKS. SPILLING ANY ER, INC PRODUCT ON A NUT OR
BOLT WILL MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GET A GRIP ON EVEN WITH ROBO TOOLS.
TTFN
TCSYD
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