>From: "Heidi Hausauer" <DrHeidi@email.msn.com>
>To: "barry Spencer" <bspencer@tsoft.com>
>Cc: "Barry Goldine" <BGoldine@yahoo.com>,
> "Jesus Villarreal" <jesvilla@gte.net>
>Subject: Fw: OIL CHANGE
>Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2000 22:10:15 -0800
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>-----Original Message-----
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>Date: Sunday, March 19, 2000 1:33 PM
>Subject: OIL CHANGE
>
>
>>How Women Change Their Oil:
>>
>>1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube at 3000 miles since the last oil change.
>>
>> 2. Drink a cup of coffee.
>>
>> 3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
>>vehicle.
>>
>>
>>How Men Change Their Oil:
>>
>>1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil,
>>filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.
>>
>> 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back
>>to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
>>
>>3. Open a beer and drink it.
>>
>>4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
>>
>>5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>>
>>6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>>
>>7. Place drain pan under engine.
>>
>>8. Look for 13mm box end wrench.
>>
>>9. Give up and use pliers.
>>
>>10. Unscrew drain plug.
>>
>>11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in the process.
>>
>>12. Clean up
>>
>>13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
>>
>>14. Look for oil filter wrench.
>>
>>15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips head screwdriver and twist it
>off.
>>
>>16. Beer.
>>
>>17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
>>
>>18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car, dump in
>>hole in back yard.
>>
>>19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during Steps 11 and 15.
>>
>>20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
>> 21. Walk to 7-11 and buy beer.
>>
>>22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to
>>gasket first.
>>
>>23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>>
>>24. Remember drain plug from Step 11.
>>
>>25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. Pan is empty - hurry to find
>>drain plug in back yard hole.
>>
>>26. Hurry to replace drain plug as last drop of fresh oil drains onto
>>floor.
>>
>>27. Slip with pliers and bang knuckles on frame.
>>
>>28. Bang head on bumper in reaction.
>>
>> 29. Begin cussing fit.
>>
>>30. Throw pliers.
>>
>>31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because pliers hit Miss December(1992).
>>
>>32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
>>
>>33. Beer.
>>
>>34. Beer.
>>
>>35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
>>
>>36. Beer.
>>
>>37. Lower car from jack stands
>>
>>38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
>>
>>39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
>>Step 26.
>>
>>40. Drive car 1/2 quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time for another
>>oil change
>>
>>*********
>>
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