THE NEW TAX LAW
The only thing that the Australian Taxation Office ("ATO") has not yet taxed is
the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging
around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed
off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two
dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1, 1999, all penis holders will be taxed according to size.
The brackets are as follows:
10-12" Luxury Tax $30.00
8-10" Pole Tax $25.00
5-8" Privilege Tax $15.00
4-5" Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4 inches is
eligible for a refund and a smack in the head.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!!!
Sincerely,
Head Pecker Checker
ATO
NOTE: We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:
Are there penalties for early withdrawls?
What if one's penis is self employed?
Do Multiple partners count as a corporation?
Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes?
Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
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