Somewhere between the third and fourth "one more car and I'm leaving"
ultimatum, a 33,000 original mile '73 Midget found me (Midgets have a
way of finding me, just like stray cats). In greatest secrecy, a deal
was struck and arrangements were made with a life-long friend and fellow
Brit car guy (sworn to secrecy, on pain of death.....by my wife's hand,
no doubt) to haul it home on his trailer. Plans were falling into place
very nicely and, on the eve of the "Midget recovery mission", my buddy
called me, to make final arrangements. My lovely, long-suffering and
extremely intuitive wife answered the phone.
Unknown to my buddy was that my wife, smelling yet another rat, had
sweated a full confession out of me, earlier in the day. Armed with all
of that sensitive information, she proceeded to TORTURE my very loyal
friend, as he dodged and jived her questions, in a valiant attempt to
maintain the security of our mission. My wife has an incredibly
effective way of handling telephone interrogations like that: she's
always very polite and pleasant, while leaving the subject of her
interrogation feeling like the Star Wars character, whom Darth Vader has
just strangled, by levitation, from the other side of the control room
of the Death Star. She told him that she'd have me call back as soon as
I returned (I was in the next room), hung up the phone and just howled
with laughter at the way my buddy had reacted to her questions.
Later, when we arrived with the Midget on the trailer, we all had a good
laugh over it and my wife was able to use it as an excuse to be pissed
off at me, when she felt the need, for the next few years.
Bottom lines are:
1.) Never marry a woman of equal or superior intelligence unless she
also possesses a VERY good sense of humor.
2.) Never lie to your wife......but make damn sure you know how to
camouflage your honesty with tricky rhetoric. It'll keep both of your
minds sharp and alert and your reaction time razor sharp.
3.) Never deny your wife anything she wants, which you can afford.
However, keep in mind that; if you can't pay cash for something, you
can't afford it. Also, just because you can pay cash for it doesn't
mean you can afford it. If you can strike some sort of balance between
your wants, her needs and economic reality, you should consider yourself
blessed.
Bud Osbourne
-----Original Message-----
From: owner-spridgets@Autox.Team.Net
[mailto:owner-spridgets@Autox.Team.Net] On Behalf Of Frank Clarici
Sent: Monday, December 18, 2006 10:05 PM
To: Spridgets
Subject: Re: The News is Out!!
> Remember to bring flowers when you actually go home!
Like I tell my son when he is on his way to pick up another parts
car....... Tell the wife you have to go to the store and be sure to ask
her if she needs anything. If she says bring home milk, buy it AFTER the
car is loaded up and you are almost home so it's still cold. But never
forget the milk. When she sees the car on the trailer, just say "here's
the milk" You already know your in trouble with her.
Might as well be in trouble only once because if you tell her you are
going to get another car, she will complain. The day you go for it, she
will complain, and once it's home, she will complain somemore so.....
Do it, and get bitched at only once :)
I have been married too long, what's another dead Spridget in the
driveway at my house? Nothing, it's routine.
--
Frank Clarici
Toms River, NJ
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