RB,
Thanks for the laughs, now it's my turn to supply a few.
These are writeup comments in the aircraft log book for the mechanics to
check out.
Problem: "Left inside tire almost needs replacement"
Reply: "Almost replaced left inside tire".
Problem: "Test flight OK, except autolanding very rough"
Reply: "No autolanding on this aircraft".
Problem: "Something loose in cockpit"
Reply: "Something tightened in cockpit".
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear"
Reply: "Evidence removed".
Problem: "The autopilot doesn't"
Reply: " It does now".
Problem: "D.M.E. volume unbelievably loud"
Reply: "Volume set to more believable level".
Problem: "IFF inoperative"
Reply: "IFF is inoperative in OFF MODE".
Problem: "Number three engine is missing"
Reply: "Engine found under wing after brief search".
Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield"
Reply: "Live bugs on order".
Bob..Retired, Senior Operations Training Instructor, Delta Airlines
PS. You started it....
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