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Fruit Cake Recipe (Humor, no LBC)

To: triumphs@autox.team.net
Subject: Fruit Cake Recipe (Humor, no LBC)
From: Michael Grey <msgrey@ucdavis.edu>
Date: Sat, 08 Dec 2001 16:47:19 -0800
Fruit Cake Recipe -- read carefully

  Ingredients:
     1 cup of water
     1 tsp baking soda
     1 cup of sugar
     1 tsp salt
     1 cup of brown sugar lemon juice
     4 large eggs
     lots of nuts
     1 bottle Vodka
     2 cups of dried fruit

  First sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, then check
  the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level
  cup and drink. Repeat.

  Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
  bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best
to make sure the vodka is still OK. Try another cup .... just in case.

  Turn off the mixer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
  cup of dried fruit. Pick fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the
  fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters pry it loose with a
screwscriver.
  Sample the vodka to check for consisticity. Next, sift two cups of
salt.
  Or something.  Who gives a damn....

  Check the vodka once more. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your
  nuts. Add one table.

  Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the
  oven. Turn the cake tin to 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't

  forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the
  window, finish the vodka and kick the cat. Fall into bed.

     CHERRY MISTMAS!

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