----- Original Message -----
From: Bettie Lee <bettie_lee@mindspring.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 01, 2000 6:51 AM
Subject: FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN!
> > <<
>
>
> The day finally arrives: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is
> met
> at
> the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however,
> and
> Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
>
> St. Peter says "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We
> have
> heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is
> filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination
> for
> everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you
> can
> get into Heaven.
>
> Forrest responds "It shore is good to be here St. Peter. I was
> looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam.
> Sure
> hope
> the
> test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
>
> St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest but the test I have for you
> is
> only
> three questions. Here is the first:
>
> 1. What days of the week begin with the letter T?
> 2. How many seconds are there in a year?
> 3. What is God's first name?"
>
> Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next
> day
> and
> goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter
> waves
> him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the
> questions
> over, tell me your answers."
>
> Forrest says, "Well, the first one how many days of the week begin
> with
> the
> letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and
> Tomorrow."
>
> The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what
> I
> was
> thinking, but you do have a point and I guess I didn't
> specify, so I give you credit for that answer"
>
> "How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How many seconds in a
> year?"
> "Now that one's harder" says Forrest, "But I thunk and thunk about
> that
> and
> I guess the only answer can be twelve."
>
> Astounded St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven's
> name
> could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
>
> Forest says "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February
> second, March second.....".
>
> "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this,
> and
> I
> guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind,
> but
> I'll give you credit for that one, too.
>
> Let's go on with the next and final question," says St. Peter. "Can
> you
> tell me God's first name"?
>
> Forrest replies, "Andy."
>
> "OK, OK," says a frustrated St. Peter, "I guess I can understand how
> you
> came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in
> the
> world did you come up with the name 'Andy' as the first name of God?"
>
> "That was the easiest one of all," Forrest replies. "I learned it
> from
> the
> song....."ANDY WALKS WITH ME. ANDY TALKS WITH ME. ANDY TELLS ME I AM
> HIS OWN...!
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