Absolutely brilliant took several minutes before I could see the keys
clearly through the tears of laughter.
Graham.
----- Original Message -----
From: Musson, Carl <musson@chekhov.arts.usf.edu>
To: 'TR-List' <triumphs@autox.team.net>; 'Brit-list'
<british-cars@autox.team.net>
Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2000 1:25 AM
Subject: FW: Women - Hazardous Materials Information Sheet HUMOR no LBC
except Common#1
>
> No offense meant to our female members. Just thought this was an
> interesting tidbit to pass along.
>
> I REALLY need to get my project done...
>
> HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET
> ==========================================================================
> MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET
> WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
> ELEMENT: Women
> SYMBOL: Wo
> DISCOVERER: Adam
> ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
> OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
>
> PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
> 1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
> 2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
> 3. Melts if given special treatment.
> 4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
> 5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
> 6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
>
> CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
> 1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
> 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
> 3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
> reason.
> 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation
> in alcohol.
> 5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
>
> COMMON USES:
> 1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
> 2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
> 3. Very effective cleaning agent.
>
> TESTS:
> 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
> 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
>
> HAZARDS:
> 1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
> 2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
> at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct
contact
> with each other.
>
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