In the interest of equal time:
Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature,but gets bent out of shape
easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due
to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young
samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also
tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with
Kd
(Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating
with
alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to
produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins
to
smell.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Original Message >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Message text written by "Musson, Carl"
>No offense meant to our female members. Just thought this was an
interesting tidbit to pass along.
I REALLY need to get my project done...
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET
==========================================================================
MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET
WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious
stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation
in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact
with each other.
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