Fred,
Thanks for not saying ARIZONA!
Joe
Fred Thomas wrote:
>
> That Texas Heat...
>
> "It's So Hot In Texas That......"
>
> *The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
>
> *The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch
> is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
>
> *Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
> laying hard boiled eggs.
>
> "It's So Dry In Texas That..."
>
> *The cows are giving evaporated milk.
>
> *The trees are whistling for the dogs.
>
> *A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me,
> cuz I've seen it - but for my 7-year-old."
>
> *A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?" A
> rancher quickly answered "Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in
> the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?" The visitor
> replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood." "Well," the rancher
> puffed up, we got about two and a half inches of that."
>
> "You Know You're In Texas When..."
>
> *You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
>
> *You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
>
> *You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
>
> *You can make instant sun tea.
>
> *You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
>
> *The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
>
> *You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your
> car.
>
> *You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
>
> *You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of
> distance.
>
> *Hot water now comes out of both taps.
>
> *It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person
> is out on the streets.
>
> *You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
>
> *You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before
> work.
>
> *No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not
> having air conditioning.
>
> *Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and
> end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
>
> *You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
--
"If you can't excel with talent, triumph with effort."
-- Dave Weinbaum in National Enquirer
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