-----Original Message-----
From: Fred Thomas <vafred@erols.com>
To: DANMAS@aol.com <DANMAS@aol.com>
Cc: pricegj@mail.vmi.edu <pricegj@mail.vmi.edu>
Date: Monday, May 03, 1999 9:41 AM
Subject: a.m.humour
> Great Reasons To Be A Guy:
>
>
>Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
>
>You know stuff about tanks.
>
>A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
>
>You can open all of your own jars.
>
>Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
>
>You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
>
>You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
>
>You can leave the motel bed unmade.
>
>You can kill your own food.
>
>You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>
>Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>
>If someone forgets to invite you to something,
>he or she can still be your friend.
>
>Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
>
>If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
>
>Everything on your face stays its original color.
>
>You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
>
>Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
>
>You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
>
>Car mechanics tell you the truth.
>
>You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours
>without ever thinking: 'He must be mad at me.'
>
>Same work . . . more pay.
>
>Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
>
>Wedding dress -- $2,000. Tuxedo rental -- $75 bucks.
>
>You don't mooch off other's desserts.
>
>You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
>
>If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit,
>you just might become lifelong friends.
>
>Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with,
>'So, notice anything different?'
>
>You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.You don't
>have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
>bolt.
>
>You almost never have strap problems in public.
>
>You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
>
>The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
>
>You don't have to shave below your neck.
>
>At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.Your belly usually hides
>your big hips.
>
>One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, for all seasons.
>
>You can 'do' your nails with a pocketknife.
>
>You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>
>Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives,
>on Dec. 24th, in 45 minutes.
>***************************************************************************
*
>**
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>
>
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