Subject: for the Girls
A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS
*Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
*Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an
aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
*Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down
and forget where they left them.
*One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a
woman gain 5 lbs.
*My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
*The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
*The nice part about living in a small town is that when you
don't know what you're doing, someone else does.
*The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by
then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
*Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
*Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain
consciousness.
*I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing
together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
*Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it
shrinks two sizes!
*They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine
isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day
after I said,"Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class
in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen
witch... do it and die."
*The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about
nothing (and then they marry him..)
*I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are
eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying, and driving too
fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
*I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody
older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
*If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your
neck?
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