`I laughed `til I stopped... Hope you all will too. Happy British
Car Week
Greg Petrolati
gpetrola@prairienet.org 1962 TR4 (CT4852L)
"That's not a leak... My car is just marking its territory!"
Greg Petrolati, Champaign, Illinois
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 9 May 1997 18:14:02 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jim McCall <llaccm@prairienet.org>
To: thiett@iastate.edu
Subject: Funny Bumper Stickers (language) (fwd)
>* Horn broken. Watch for finger.
>* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
>* All generalizations are false.
>* Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
>* I brake for no apparent reason.
>* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
>* I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
>* Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
>* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
>* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
>* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
>* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
>* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
>* I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
>* Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>* Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
>* Born free...Taxed to death.
>* The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
>* Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
>* Rehab is for quitters.
>* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
>* Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
>* All men are idiots, and I married their King.
>* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
>* Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
>* Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
>* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
>* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
>* If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
>* When you do a good deed, get a receipt--in case heaven is like the IRS..
>* Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
>* No radio - Already stolen.
>* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
>* Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
>* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
>* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
>* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
>* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
>* I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
>* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
>* Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
>* IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
>* Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
>* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
>* According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
>* Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
>* Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
>* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
>* Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
>* How can I miss you if you won't go away?
>* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
>* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
>* We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
>* Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
>* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
>* Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
>* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
>* Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
>* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>* i souport publik edekashun.
>* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
>* Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
>* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
>* Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
>* Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Penguin Productions Race Replicas
road racing replica conversion parts and kits
llaccm@prairienet.org
1011 North Division Avenue
Urbana, Illinois
USA
61801
(217)367-8832
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