OK, so the freshman from Texas stops the uperclassman on the campus of Harvard
and asks "Scuze, me, but can you all tell me where the dining commons are at?"
And the upperclassman says in his best snobbish Hahvad accent "Young man, here
at Hahvad, we do not end a sentence with a proposition. Would you care to
re-phrase that question?" "Well, shore," says the freshman, "Say, can you all
tell me where the dining commons' at, asshole?"
Geoff Branch '74 Meejut "Yellow Peril" Northerner born and bred. Jealous of
Southerners this time of year.
----- Original Message -----
From Graziano, Michael <michael.graziano at csfb.com>
To: 'Greg Gowins' <cartman@dnai.com>; Spridgets List <spridgets@autox.team.net>
Sent: Monday, January 31, 2000 12:49 PM
Subject: RE: Warnings for those Yankees attending SPRIDGETSTOCK 2000 (not a lick
o' LBC)
> Well, if us Northerners only had our indoor kitchens installed a generation
> ago, we'd be darn good barbecuers too.
>
> Flame Suit Engaged....
>
> LMAO
>
> Michael
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Greg Gowins [SMTP:cartman@dnai.com]
> > Sent: Monday, January 31, 2000 12:32 PM
> > To: Spridgets List
> > Subject: Warnings for those Yankees attending SPRIDGETSTOCK 2000 (not
> > a lick o' LBC)
> >
> > All good Southerners already know this, but in fairness to those Yankees
> > (northerners visiting the South) or Damn Yankees (northerners who visit
> > the
> > South and stay) who may venture South, there are some things you need to
> > know. Southerners who may have Yankees visiting this season (such as you,
> > Liz), please pass this along.
> >
> > 1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a
> > day, so let them cook something they know.
> >
> > 2. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann,
> > Mari Beth, and Inez have all been known to whoop a man's ass for less than
> > that.
> >
> > 3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda ~ this can lead to a
> > merciless beating. Down South, it's called Coke, even if you want a
> > Pepsi.
> >
> > 4. Don't show allegiances to any college football squad that isn't an SEC
> > or
> > Big XII team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who get to play
> > some ivy league school every week.
> >
> > 5. Don't refer to Southerners as a bunch of hillbillies. Most of us are
> > more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated,
> > and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense
> > (e.g.,
> > Turner Broadcasting, MCI/WorldCom, MTV, and Netscape). Naturally, we can
> > have lapses of judgment from time to time (e.g., Clinton, Fordice, Duke).
> > We don't care if you think we're dumb ~ we know better!
> >
> > 6. We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your bitching,
> > spend
> > your money, and leave.
> >
> > 7. Don't order wheat toast at the Cracker Barrel. If you do this,
> > everyone
> > will know you're from Ohio, New Jersey, or worse, Philadelphia. Eat the
> > biscuits like God intended, and for God's sake, don't put sugar in your
> > grits.
> >
> > 8. Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. Nothing will incite a riot
> > faster.
> >
> > 9. Don't go around talking about how much better it is back home. If you
> > don't like it here, take your Yankee ass back home.
> >
> > 10. We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those other sissy-ass
> > northern
> > games, so don't ask about the scores. We simply don't care.
> >
> > 11. We know how to speak proper English ~ we talk this way because we want
> > to and we can. It's like playing jazz ~ you have to know how to do it
> > right
> > first.
> >
> > 12. Last, but by no means, least, DO NOT try to tell us how to bar-b-q.
> > This could lead to permanent expulsion and revocation of your work visa.
> > You're damn lucky that we let you come down here in the first place, so
> > don't push your luck!
>
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