Last time this post seems to have gone through garbled....
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DEPARTMENT OF THE ARMY
Chief of Staff, Operations
Washington, D.C.
15 December 1997
DA-CSOPS
MEMORANDUM FOR ALL U.S. ARMY PERSONNEL,
CONUS and OCONUS Installations and Activities
FROM COL CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE, OIC,
Special Services, Department of the Army,
Office of the Chief of Staff, Washington, D.C.
SUBJECT: Official Visit/Site Inspection
1. An official visit by MG Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at
this headquarters approximately the evening of 24 December
1997 (2200 - 2400 hours) and/or the early morning of 25
December 1997 (0001 - 0500 hours). The following instructions
will be in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during
the visit:
A. Not a creature will stir without official permission.
This will include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits
for necessary administrative actions will be obtained through
normal command channels. Mice stirring permits will be
obtained through the office of OSURG, Veterinary Services.
B. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap
prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 1997. Uniform for the nap
will be: Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, with Kerchief,
general purpose, camouflage; and Cap, camouflage, w/ear flaps.
Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 1900 hours,
24 December 1997. C. Personnel will utilize standard field ration
sugar plums
for visions to dance through their heads. This item will be
drawn from the servicing dining facility. D. Stockings, wool,
cushion sole, will be hung by the
chimney (see paragraph 2 below) with care. Necessary safety
precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by
carelessly hung stockings. Unit Safety Officers will submit
stocking hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800,
24 December 1997, ATTN: AEAGA-S, for approval.
E. At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will
spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate
action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw open
the window sashes. ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference
LO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February 1997,
will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing.
Division chiefs will familiarize all personnel with procedures and
are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open, nor
window sashes thrown prior to start of official clatter.
F. Prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 1997, all personnel
will be assigned "Wondering Eyes" stations. After shutters are
torn and sashes are thrown, these stations will be manned.
G. ODCSLOG will assign one (1) each Sleigh, miniature,
M-66, and eight (8) each Deer, rein, tiny, for use of MG Claus'
driver who, in accordance with current directives and other
applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 56 properly
annotated by Driver Testing; have completed an approved
DDC; be authorized rooftop parking; and be able to shout,
"On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet,
up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen."
2. MG Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys.
All units without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6,
for use during ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be
requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form submitted to
the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19 December 1997, and
issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-In.
3. Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting "Merry
Christmas to all, and to all a good night." This shout will be
given on termination of General Claus' visit. Uniformity of
shouting is the responsibility of division chiefs, and will be
accomplished in cadence.
4. Exceptions to participation are as follows:
A. Individuals whose personal moral or religious beliefs
preclude their participation may request a waiver by
submitting a DA Form 1776 to their COC NLT COB on
23 December 1997. B. Individuals who have not requested a waiver
and
who do not participate as indicated will face action under
the applicable provisions of the UCMJ.
C. Individuals who cannot participate (due to a
bankruptcy of character), but do not qualify for a waiver
under conscientious objector requirements as outlined in
ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference LO No. 5,
paragraph 2b, this headquarters, 2 February 1997, may
request assignment to Operation Grinch Assist at Whoville.
(1). Individuals thus assigned will not be subject to
penalties for being in violation of this action.
(2). Assignment requests must be submitted thru the
COC on a DA Form 4856, Request for Personnel Action,
NLT COB 23 December 1997, ATTN: BG Eb Enezer-Scrooge,
Camp Horton, Whoville.
5. POC this action is the undersigned.
/S/
CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE
Colonel, MI
OIC, Special Services
DISTRIBUTION: All CONUS/OCONUS Installations
and Activities All Personnel
Everybody Who Still Believes
COPIES: FILE
MG CLAUS
ELF LIAISON
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