Hi All,
This came off the net from my wife's craft's thread.
CountryJoy wrote:
>
> Diary of a Mad Shoveler
> or
> A Texan Moves to Wisconsin
>
> December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of
> the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for
> hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
> from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic
> we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
>
> December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white
> snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
> sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World?
> Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the
> first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our
> driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came
> along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway,
> so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
>
> December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
> disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll
> definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would
> be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of
> winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think
> that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our
> neighbor.
>
> December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
> dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
> took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway
> and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this
> afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would
> have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
> back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
>
> December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
> Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra
> shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in
> case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't
> in Alaska, after all.
>
>
> December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my a** on the ice
> in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like h***. The wife
> laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
>
> December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
> anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the
> blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife
> and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood
> stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't
> believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
>
> December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the
> da** stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. %!#%!!
> snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel,
> but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're
> lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about
> buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another
> shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
> shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's
> lying.
>
> December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13
> more inches of the white sh** fell today, and it's so cold it
> probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all
> dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to go to the bathroom. By
> the time I got undressed, and dressed again, I was too tired
> to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the
> rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the
> !%#!!% is lying.
>
> December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The
> wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
> What is she nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month
> ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
>
> December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
> shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch
> the SOB who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow
> by his b****. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me
> to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
> street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where
> I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
> carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching
> for the %!!&%#!! snowplow.
>
> December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !%#%*!
> slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood
> boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by
> asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my
> shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an
> idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more
> time, I'm going to kill her.
>
> December 26: Still snowed in. Why the h*** did I ever move
> here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
>
> December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
>
> December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE
> WIFE is driving me crazy!!!!!
>
> December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the
> roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
> heard. How dumb does he think I am?
>
> December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me
> for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9"
> predicted.
>
> December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more
> shoveling.
>
> January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white
> pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
>
Rick
Formally lived in Upstate NY.
|