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Re: Humor and a request

To: "Reginald Tulk" <regtulk@isd.net>,
Subject: Re: Humor and a request
From: "Jeff McNeal" <jmcneal@ohms.com>
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2000 11:42:04 -0800
SPITFIRE:

Serious Pride In Transportation For Income Restricted Enthusiasts

How's that one?

Jeff in San Diego

----- Original Message -----
From: Reginald Tulk <regtulk@isd.net>
To: Spitfire List <spitfires@autox.team.net>; Triumph List
<triumphs@autox.team.net>
Sent: Thursday, February 24, 2000 11:27 AM
Subject: Humor and a request


>
> So my loving fiancé sends me the following  with a note saying "pay
> special attention to the triumph one"
> Who's got POSITIVE ones for "triumph" or "spitfire"?
>
> (and don't start bashing my fiancé - she loves me and my cars - even tho
> she calls my spitfire "the coffin"!!)
>
>       CAR NAMES EXPLAINED
>  AUDI:
>    Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
>    Another Uninformed Driver Insulted
>    All Unnecessary Devices Installed *1.
>  BMW:
>    Big Money Works
>    Bought My Wife
>    Brutal Money Waster
>    Bimbette Motor Weapon
>    Break My Window
>    Big Man Wannabe
>    Big Money Wasted
>    Broken Money Waster
>  BUICK:
>    Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
>    Big Ugly Import Car Killer
>  CADILLAC:
>    Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
>  CHEVROLET:
>    Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
>    Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
>    Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
>  CHRYSLER:
>    Can't Have Refund, You're Stuck Leasing Edsel's Replacement *2.
>  DODGE:
>    Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
>  FIAT:
>    Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
>    Fix It All the Time
>    Fix it again, Tony!
>    Fix it again tomorrow
>    Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
>  FORD:
>    Frigin Old Rebuilt Dodge
>    First On Recall Day
>    First On Rust and Deterioration
>    Fix Or Repair Daily
>    Found On Road, Dead
>    Fault Of Research and Development
>    Fast Only Rolling Downhill
>    Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
>    Found On Russian Dump
>    Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
>    Ford backwards:  Drivers returning on foot.
>  GEO:
>    Good Engineering Overlooked
>  GM:
>    General Maintenance
>    Great Mistake
>    Garage Me
>  GMC:
>    Garage Man's Companion
>    Got A Mechanic Coming?
>    Generally Mediocre Cars
>    Got More Crap
>  HONDA:
>    Had One Never Did Again
>  HYUNDAI:
>    Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
>  JEEP:
>    Junk Engineered, Executed Poorly
>  KIA:
>    Kick It Again
>  LINCOLN:
>    Lousy Implementation, Not Cars Of Luxurious Nature
>  MAZDA:
>    Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
>    Made After Zero Design Analysis *3.
>  MERCEDES:
>    Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales *4.
>  MOPAR:
>    Most Often Passed At Races
>    Mostly Old Parts And Rust
>    Mostly Old Paint And Rust
>  OLDSMOBILE:
>    Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly
>     Late Everywhere
>    Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular
>     Leftover Equipment
>    Old Ladies Drive Slow-Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
>  PLYMOUTH:
>    Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap
>  PONTIAC:
>    Poor Old Nick Thinks It's A Cadillac
>  PORSCHE:
>    Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything
>  SAAB:
>    Send Another Automobile Back
>    Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
>    Sad Attempt At Beauty
>  SATURN:
>    Sad Attempt To Unload Recycled Nissans
>  STEALTH:
>    Speed Trap Equipment Aims Low, Targets Hood *5.
>  SUBARU:
>    Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
>  TOYOTA:
>    Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
>
>  TRIUMPH:
>    The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
>
>  VOLVO:
>    Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
>  VW:
>    Virtually Worthless
>  YUGO:
>    Yearly undergoes garage operations
>    You'll utter "greatly overpriced"
>
> Reg Tulk
> 74' Spit (boxes, boxes, boxes)
>


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