At 01:08 PM 12/05/99 -0800, Jeff McNeal wrote:
>
>I just got back from viewing the "very clean and original" 1967 Triumph
>Spitfire "that needs the radiator cleaned and installed, a tune up and some
>new tires".
Disappointment <SNIPPED>
Jeff,
You obviously forgot to read the translation page for buyers and sellers
from the Team.net pages. <http://www.team.net/sol/humour/ad_terms.html>
To Wit:
+++++++
Official Car Advertisement Conversion Chart
How To Interpret Antique Car Ads
IF IT SAYS: IT REALLY MEANS:
Rare model Nobody liked them when new, either
Older restoration Can't tell it's been restored
Needs engine work Its been frozen for 30 years
Uses no oil Just throws it out
No rust Body and fenders missing
Rough It's too bad to lie about
One owner Never been able to sell
No time to complete Can't find parts anywhere
Needs interior Seats are gone
Rebuilt engine Has new spark plugs
May run But never has
Low mileage Third time around
29 coats of handrubbed paint Needed that much to cover the rust
Clean It sat in the rain yesterday
Always driven slowly About what I expect to get
Prize winner Hard luck trophy 3 times in a row
Stored 25 years Under a tree
Real show stopper Orange with purple fenders
Easy restoration Parts will come off in your hands
Ready to show Just washed it
Top good Only leaks when it rains
Good investment Can't depreciate any more
(By Steve Laifman)
+++++++++++++++++++
Hope this cheered you up a little. YOUR car will turn up!
Regards,
Atwell Haines
'79 Spitfire
Succasunna, NJ USA
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