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Non-LBC but it is funny

To: Spitfires@autox.team.net
Subject: Non-LBC but it is funny
From: jak0pab@jak10.med.navy.mil (Bowen, Patrick A. RP2)
Date: Fri, 07 May 1999 07:40:07
Sorry for the non-lbc content but this is hilarious!
>
>
>What a great sense of humor this kid has! 
>McDonald's Fast Food Job Application: 
>This is an actual job application someone submitted at a 
>McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! 
>Wouldn't you? 
>
>NAME: Greg Bulmash 
>
>DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's 
>available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
>here in 
>the  first place. 
>
>DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael 
>Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and
>we 
>can haggle. 
>
>EDUCATION: Yes. 
>
>LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. 
>
>SALARY: Less than I'm worth. 
>
>MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen 
>pens and  post-it notes. 
>
>REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. 
>
>HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. 
>
>PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and 
>Thursday. 
>
>DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better 
>suited to a more intimate environment. 
>
>MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I 
>be here? 
>
>DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU 
>>FROM  LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? 
>
>DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would 
>be  "Do you have a car that runs?" 
>
>HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already 
>be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. 
>
>DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire. 
>
>WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in 
>the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the
>greatest 
>thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. 
>
>DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF 
>YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise. 
>
>SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
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