HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all
lanes of traffic: New Jersey.
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on
accelerator: Boston.
5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino,
cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los
Angeles.
6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering
in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head
turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.
8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone,
foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.
9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating
between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on
brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.
10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear
window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna:
West Virginia.
11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above the
steering wheel, driving in the left lane at 35 on the Interstate
with the left blinker on: Florida.
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/// (If they are dupes, this trailer may also catch them.)
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