No wonder you get in so much trouble - That is CHEAP BEER!!!
Larry
At this exact moment in time 6/23/00 11:55, d_dibiase@yahoo.com made the
profound statement:
>Happy Friday, thought this was funny -
>
>HOW TO CHANGE YOUR OIL
>
> Oil Changing Instructions, Women:
>
> 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage
> reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
> 2. Drink a cup of coffee.
> 3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave
> with a properly maintained vehicle.
>
> Money Spent:
> $20.00 Oil Change
> $1.00 Coffee
> ----------------
> Total: $21.00
>
> Oil Changing Instructions, Men:
>
> 1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a
> check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty
> litter, hand cleaner and scented cardboard
> pine tree.
> 2. Discover that the used oil container is full.
> Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly
> to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
> 3. Open a beer and drink it.
> 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for
> jack stands.
> 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
> 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink
> it.
> 7. Place drain pan under engine.
> 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
> 9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
> 10. Unscrew drain plug.
> 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot
> oil on you in process.
> 12. Clean up.
> 13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
> 14. Look for oil filter wrench.
> 15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver
> and twist it off.
> 16. Beer.
> 17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish
> oil change tomorrow.
> 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from
> underneath car.
> 19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during
>step 18.
> 20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
> 21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
> 22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply
> thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.
> 23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
> 24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
> 25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
> 26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole
> quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
> 27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
> 28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
> 29. Begin cussing fit.
> 30. Throw wrench.
> 31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because
> wrench hit Miss December(1992) in the left
> b**b.
> 32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
> 33. Beer.
> 34. Beer.
> 35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
> 36. Beer.
> 37. Lower car from jack stands
> 38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
> 39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to
> fresh oil spilled during step 23.
> 40. Test drive car
> 41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under
> the influence.
> 42. Car gets impounded.
> 43. Make bail; get car from impound yard.
> Money Spent:
> $50 parts
> $12 beer
> $75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the
> colors have to match!
> $1000 Bail
> $200 Impound and towing fee
> ---------------------------
> Total: $1337
>
>
>
>
>=====
>Dan D
>Dayton, NJ
>76 MGB Tourer - Brooklands Green
>Looking for a 67-70 MGB Tourer Project Car!
>
>__________________________________________________
>Get Yahoo! Mail - Free email you can access from anywhere!
>http://mail.yahoo.com/
Larry B. Macy, Ph.D.
macy@bblmail.psycha.upenn.edu
System Administrator/Manager
Neuropsychiatry Section
Department of Psychiatry
University of Pennsylvania
3400 Spruce St. - 1015 Gates
Philadelphia, PA 19104
Ask a question and you're a fool for three minutes; do not ask a
question and you're a fool for the rest of your life.
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