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MORE SOUTHERN WISDOM

To: landspeedracer@email.msn.com, kturk@ala.net, WmTSmith@landracing.com
Subject: MORE SOUTHERN WISDOM
From: FastmetalBDF@aol.com
Date: Tue, 8 May 2001 12:33:28 EDT
40 Things a Southerner Would Never Say 

40. Oh I just couldn't. She's only sixteen. 
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 
38. Duct tape won't fix that. 
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 
35. We don't keep firearms in this house. 
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 
33. You can't feed that to the dog. 
32. I thought Graceland was tacky. 
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not 
safe. 
30. Wrasslin's fake. 
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 
28. We're vegetarians. 
27. Do you think my gut is too big? 
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of 
biscuits and gravy. 
25. Honey, we don't need another dog. 
24. Who's Richard Petty? 
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit. 
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today. 
19. Trim the fat off that steak. 
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 
17. The tires on that truck are too big. 
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. 
15. I've got it all on the C drive. 
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled? 
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. 
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat 
grams. 
09. Checkmate. 
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. 
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? 
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we 
haven't seen. 
05. I don't have a favorite college team. 
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. 
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long. 
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. 
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight. 

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