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All in the best possible taste:-
Don=E2=80=99t know whose it is. It may amuse as many people as it =
offends. I=E2=80=99m not mentioned, by nationality, so I=E2=80=99m =
keeping out of that one=E2=80=A6.
=E2=80=9CAmongst the gloom over the spreading virus and the financial =
meltdown, its still important to raise a SMILE! =20
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to the recent virus threat =
and have therefore raised their threat level from =
=E2=80=9CMiffed=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CPeeved.=E2=80=9D Soon, though, that =
level may be raised yet again to =E2=80=9CIrritated=E2=80=9D or even =
=E2=80=9CA Bit Cross.=E2=80=9DThe English have not been =E2=80=9CA Bit =
Cross=E2=80=9D since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran =
out. The virus has been re-categorized from =E2=80=9CTiresome=E2=80=9D =
to =E2=80=9CA Bloody Nuisance.=E2=80=9D The last time the British issued =
a =E2=80=9CBloody Nuisance=E2=80=9D warning level was in 1588, when =
threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from =E2=80=9CPissed =
Off=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CLet's Get the Bastard.=E2=80=9D They don't have =
any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front =
line of the British Army for the last 300 years.=20
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert =
level from =E2=80=9CRun=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CHide.=E2=80=9D The only two =
higher levels in France are =E2=80=9CCollaborate=E2=80=9D and =
=E2=80=9CSurrender.=E2=80=9D The rise was precipitated by a recent fire =
that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the =
country's military capability.=20
Italy has increased the alert level from =E2=80=9CShout Loudly and =
Excitedly=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CElaborate Military Posturing.=E2=80=9D =
Two more levels remain: =E2=80=9CIneffective Combat Operations=E2=80=9D =
and =E2=80=9CChange Sides.=E2=80=9D
The Germans have increased their alert state from =E2=80=9CDisdainful =
Arrogance=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CDress in Uniform and Sing Marching =
Songs.=E2=80=9D They also have two higher levels: =E2=80=9CInvade a =
Neighbour=E2=80=9D and =E2=80=9CLose.=E2=80=9D=20
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only =
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.=20
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. =
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish =
Navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish Navy.=20
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from =E2=80=9CNo =
worries=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CShe'll be alright, Mate.=E2=80=9D Two more =
escalation levels remain: =E2=80=9CCrikey! I think we'll need to cancel =
the barbie this weekend!=E2=80=9D and =E2=80=9CThe barbie is =
cancelled.=E2=80=9D So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the =
final escalation level.=20
The Russians have said =E2=80=9CIts not us=E2=80=9D=20
And there you have it. A World united.....!!
KEEP WASHING THE HANDS AND ELBOW BUMPING !=E2=80=9D
Good luck wherever you are=E2=80=A6..
=20
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vlink=3Dpurple><div class=3DWordSection1><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>All in the best possible =
taste:-<o:p></o:p></p><p class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>Don=E2=80=99t =
know whose it is. It may amuse as many people as it offends. I=E2=80=99m =
not mentioned, by nationality, so I=E2=80=99m keeping out of that =
one=E2=80=A6.<o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>=E2=80=9CAmongst the gloom over the =
spreading virus and the financial meltdown, its still important to raise =
a SMILE! <o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>The English are feeling the pinch in =
relation to the recent virus threat and have therefore raised their =
threat level from =E2=80=9CMiffed=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CPeeved.=E2=80=9D =
Soon, though, that level may be raised yet again to =
=E2=80=9CIrritated=E2=80=9D or even =E2=80=9CA Bit Cross.=E2=80=9DThe =
English have not been =E2=80=9CA Bit Cross=E2=80=9D since the blitz in =
1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been =
re-categorized from =E2=80=9CTiresome=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CA Bloody =
Nuisance.=E2=80=9D The last time the British issued a =E2=80=9CBloody =
Nuisance=E2=80=9D warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the =
Spanish Armada.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>The =
Scots have raised their threat level from =E2=80=9CPissed Off=E2=80=9D =
to =E2=80=9CLet's Get the Bastard.=E2=80=9D They don't have any other =
levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the =
British Army for the last 300 years. <o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>The French government announced =
yesterday that it has raised its alert level from =E2=80=9CRun=E2=80=9D =
to =E2=80=9CHide.=E2=80=9D The only two higher levels in France are =
=E2=80=9CCollaborate=E2=80=9D and =E2=80=9CSurrender.=E2=80=9D The rise =
was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag =
factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military =
capability. <o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>Italy has increased the alert level =
from =E2=80=9CShout Loudly and Excitedly=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CElaborate =
Military Posturing.=E2=80=9D Two more levels remain: =
=E2=80=9CIneffective Combat Operations=E2=80=9D and =E2=80=9CChange =
Sides.=E2=80=9D<o:p></o:p></p><p class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>The =
Germans have increased their alert state from =E2=80=9CDisdainful =
Arrogance=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CDress in Uniform and Sing Marching =
Songs.=E2=80=9D They also have two higher levels: =E2=80=9CInvade a =
Neighbour=E2=80=9D and =E2=80=9CLose.=E2=80=9D <o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>Belgians, on the other hand, are all =
on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO =
pulling out of Brussels. <o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>The Spanish are all excited to see =
their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs =
have glass bottoms so the new Spanish Navy can get a really good look at =
the old Spanish Navy. <o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>Australia, meanwhile, has raised its =
alert level from =E2=80=9CNo worries=E2=80=9D to =E2=80=9CShe'll be =
alright, Mate.=E2=80=9D Two more escalation levels remain: =
=E2=80=9CCrikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this =
weekend!=E2=80=9D and =E2=80=9CThe barbie is cancelled.=E2=80=9D So far, =
no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation =
level. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>The =
Russians have said =E2=80=9CIts not us=E2=80=9D <o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext><b>And there you have it. A =
World united.....!!</b><o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext><b> KEEP WASHING THE HANDS AND =
ELBOW BUMPING !=E2=80=9D<o:p></o:p></b></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext>Good luck wherever you =
are=E2=80=A6..<o:p></o:p></p><p =
class=3Dyiv9990743857msoplaintext> <o:p></o:p></p></div></body></htm=
l>
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