-------- Original Message --------
Subject: One Woman
Date: Wed, 7 Nov 2001 16:17:46 -0800 (PST)
From: The Reverend Jazzy <jazz_baybee@yahoo.com>
To: just_ette <just_ette@yahoo.com>, Pam <ntrlclr@earthlink.net>
Take all American women who are within five years of
menopause-train us for a few weeks, outfit us with
automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer
with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned
tuna -- drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the
landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes
naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when
doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying
bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in
turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die
to protect them and their future. We'd like to get
away from our husbands, if they haven't left already.
And for those of us who are single, the prospect of
finding a good man with whom to share life is about as
likely as being struck by lightning!
We have nothing to lose. We've survived the water
diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the
grapefruit diet, in gyms and saunas across
America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive
months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no
food at all.
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers
in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding
bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new
government? Oh, please!!! We've planned the seating
arrangements for in-laws and extended families at
Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand
tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know
every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or
cover up bank accounts and money sources.
We know how to find that money and we know how to
seize it ... with or without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine
their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes
over their godforsaken terrain. I'm going to write my
Congresswoman. You should, too!
=====
Where am I going, and what am I doing in this handbasket?
Find a job, post your resume.
http://careers.yahoo.com
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