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Pit evils summarized.

To: british-cars@autox.team.net
Subject: Pit evils summarized.
From: "W. Ray Gibbons" <gibbons@northpole.med.uvm.edu>
Date: Tue, 8 Nov 1994 15:27:10 -0500 (EST)
OK, I have been converted.  Let me summarize the evils of garage pits.  

1)  A firefighter may rush into your burning, smoke-filled garage (I guess
in an effort to save your lawn-mower) and fall into your pit and die.

2) You may sell your house, and the subsequent owner may take the cover
off, fall into the pit, and die. 

3) Gasoline leaking from your Cobra gas tank may collect in your pit
and explode, killing you, your spouse, and your cat Fluffy. 

4) If you go into your pit while your engine is running, deadly something
or another gas from your exhaust may collect in your pit and asphyxiate
you, your small children, and their pals. 

5) Your SO may roll your lbc over the entrance to the pit while you are in
it, set the handbrake, and let you starve.  His/her explanation would be,
"Well, he/she was often in the garage for days, so I didn't miss her/him."
Even if he/she confesses, any court would decide it was justifiable
homicide. 

6) You may be overcome by the magnificance of your shimmering stainless
steel brake lines, to the point where you are unable to climb out of the
pit, and you will die.

7) Thieves cannot see you when you are in the pit.  So, while you have the
brake lines disconnected, a thief may drive your car away and crash,
killing him/herself.  His/her survivors will sue you for your last penny. 
Since you own a british car, however, they won't get much.

8) Any pit under a british car will collect oil.  If that oil leaks out,
it will enter the ground water and threaten the environment.  If it
doesn't leak out, you may absent-mindedly enter the oil-filled pit and
die. 

9)  In California, there are so many lbcs that the pits would undermine
whatever small amount of stability the earth's crust may have, potentially
killing millions.

10) In Louis Poche's area, pits would just fill with water and be useless,
even if nobody outlawed them.  Small children and animals could drown. 
Mosquitoes would breed in the pits and be a plague upon the earth.

11) You may be tempted to use your pit to keep the bottom of your lbc
polished, in which case you should be shot.

Obviously I just did not understand.  Garage pits should be illegal.  It
is clearly safer for the car owner to crawl under a 2000 lb machine that
is perched high upon jack stands bought on sale at KMart... 

   Ray Gibbons  Dept. of Molecular Physiology & Biophysics
                Univ. of Vermont College of Medicine, Burlington, VT
                gibbons@northpole.med.uvm.edu  (802) 656-8910






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