DJP@ALPHA.SUNQUEST.COM (Dan Parslow) writes:
> Wanker (n) One who purchases a british roadster for the style
> it imparts to the owner but has no interest in taking
> proper care of it.
>
> May we observe a moment of silence please for the britcars that
> have died and become parts cars at the hands of wankers.
Britcars only? I think not. This is one subject that really sets me off.
I'll hear through a friend that so-and-so is having all kinds of problems
with their car and would I take a look at it? I meet with the aggrieved
party and hear a long introductory speech about what a piece of junk the
car is, blah-blah-blah, they'll never buy another of this brand, and so
on. More often than not, they finish by saying "I'm thinking of getting
rid of this and buying an Accord," as if the blasted Honda is going to
come with a Maintenance Fairy that will follow them around and do routine
servicing for them.
Cursory inspection of the ailing car will almost ALWAYS reveal:
1) Oil is two quarts low, looks like sludge and smells like gasoline.
2) Tires are underinflated, at least one seriously so.
3) Car is filthy, inside and out.
4) One headlight is pointing straight down. One brake light is out.
5) Exhaust leaks.
6) A badly-installed aftermarket stereo is sticking part-way out of the
dash. Electrical accessories in its vicinity, and others that share
the same circuits, are dead.
6) Vacuum lines on engine have been tampered with, at least two have been
plugged with sheet-metal screws, and the EGR is disconnected.
7) Car has had succession of trips to incompetent corner gas station
which still cannot figure out why car is hard to start, but has
replaced spark plugs twice in three months.
Now, the interesting thing is that I have seen all kinds of cars in this
condition, from routine Chevys to TransAms, to Toyotas, to whatever. The
original value and quality of the car has no connection; there are bone-
head owners for everything. It makes me mad when I see perfectly good cars
just plain wasted like this. It doesn't take that much effort to turn around
the deterioration, or reverse the entropy, as someone here said recently,
and it makes me feel better when I get it done in time, and can show the
owner how to keep it that way. Of course, my total contribution to this is
perhaps one car a month on average that I get word of, and look at all the
others around us that are just thrown away for no good reason. I think that
we in the U.S. may be some of the worst offenders for wasting good machinery;
my neighbors in England would think nothing of hauling out the tools and
replacing the clutch themselves in the driveway, whereas we Americans will
wait until the clutch is completely shot, then either sell it ("needs work"),
or have it done at some franchise somewhere for eight-zillion dollars, and
complain bitterly to friends about what a hunk of junk the car is.
Well, I'm sorry to blather on like this and burn up the bandwidth, but I
had to get that off my chest.
Andrew C. Green
Datalogics, Inc. Internet: acg@dlogics.com
441 W. Huron UUCP: ..!uunet!dlogics!acg
Chicago, IL 60610 FAX: (312) 266-4473
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