Subject: [WPTA] T’ was The Night before the British Car Show

From: Ed Major via Wpta <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 2015 16:14:32 -0500

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T=E2=80=99 was The Night before the British Car Show=20

T=E2=80=99 was the night before the British car show, but I was out in =
the shed.

My car wasn=E2=80=99t budging =E2=80=93 the danged thing was dead.

The battery and petrol had been checked twice with care,

The tires kicked too, to make sure they held air.

The plugs were all snugged up, tight on their leads,

While shop towels betrayed how much knuckles can bleed.

Once more I inspected the rotor and cap,

But that car was intent on a long freak in nap.

When out in the street, there arose such a clatter and I sat up far too =
fast to see what=E2=80=99s the matter.

Into the sump my head slammed with a bash,

Crunched back to the floor =E2=80=93 I grew faint with the crash.

A lump on my forehead and a ringing in ears gave an aura of migraine, =
while nausea grew near.

But then what to my watering eyes should appear?

Why an old Morris tow truck with harsh grinding of gears!

There was a little old driver, so crazy and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be Dip Stick.

More bewildered than brilliant his mechanics they came,

And he laughed and he hollered, and called them by name!

=E2=80=9CNow Austin, Now Triumph! Now MG and Jaguar!

On Healey! On Mini! On Morgan and Rover!

Get that car off the lift, and watch out for that wall!

Now back away! Back away! Back away all=E2=80=9D

As good money before a long shop visit flies,

And when met with a rebuild, bills mount to the sky.

So up to his full height sir Dip Stick he grew,

Despite a kink in his back, and I believe his leg too.

And then, in a fuse flash, I heard under breath

The swearing and calling for previous owner=E2=80=99s death.

As I bandaged my head, and was fumbling around,

Down the first Castrol Can came with a bound.

He was dressed all in Dickies, from his pants to his shirt,

And his clothes were adorned with gas, oil and dirt.

A couple of rags he had stuck in his belt,

And he left stains on the concrete wherever he knelt.

His eyes-how demented, his pupils how twitchy.

I offered to help him, but he laughed out of pity.

His crusty old mouth, twisted up like a bow,

And the stubble he wore had a good three days growth.

A slow burning cigar he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a nicely round belly,

You could tell he liked his chair right in front of the telly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke very few words as he turned to his work,

And after tuning the SUs, he turned with a jerk.

Then he turned the key one and hit the starter,

Wow, she started right up as he hit the gas harder!

He sprang to his truck, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all zoomed, like shot out of a missile.

But I heard him call out, over a backfiring blast,

=E2=80=9CHappy British Car Show to all and to all safety fast!=E2=80=9D

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<HTML><HEAD></HEAD>
<BODY dir=3Dltr>
<DIV dir=3Dltr>
<DIV style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri'; COLOR: #000000">
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 14pt"><B =

style=3D"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><FONT face=3D"Times New =
Roman">T=E2=80=99 was The=20
Night before the British Car Show </FONT></B></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">T=E2=80=99 was the night before the British car =
show, but I was=20
out in the shed.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">My car wasn=E2=80=99t budging =E2=80=93 the =
danged thing was=20
dead.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">The battery and petrol had been checked twice =
with=20
care,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">The tires kicked too, to make sure they held=20
air.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">The plugs were all snugged up, tight on their=20
leads,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">While shop towels betrayed how much knuckles =
can=20
bleed.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Once more I inspected the rotor and =
cap,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">But that car was intent on a long freak in=20
nap.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">When out in the street, there arose such a =
clatter and I=20
sat up far too fast to see what=E2=80=99s the matter.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Into the sump my head slammed with a =
bash,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Crunched back to the floor =E2=80=93 I grew =
faint with the=20
crash.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">A lump on my forehead and a ringing in ears =
gave an aura=20
of migraine, while nausea grew near.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">But then what to my watering eyes should=20
appear?</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Why an old Morris tow truck with harsh grinding =
of=20
gears!</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">There was a little old driver, so crazy and=20
quick,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">I knew in a moment it must be Dip =
Stick.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">More bewildered than brilliant his mechanics =
they=20
came,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And he laughed and he hollered, and called them =
by=20
name!</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">=E2=80=9CNow Austin, Now Triumph! Now MG and =
Jaguar!</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">On Healey! On Mini! On Morgan and =
Rover!</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Get that car off the lift, and watch out for =
that=20
wall!</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Now back away! Back away! Back away =
all=E2=80=9D</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">As good money before a long shop visit =
flies,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And when met with a rebuild, bills mount to the =

sky.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">So up to his full height sir Dip Stick he=20
grew,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Despite a kink in his back, and I believe his =
leg=20
too.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And then, in a fuse flash, I heard under=20
breath</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">The swearing and calling for previous =
owner=E2=80=99s=20
death.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">As I bandaged my head, and was fumbling=20
around,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Down the first Castrol Can came with a =
bound.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">He was dressed all in Dickies, from his pants =
to his=20
shirt,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And his clothes were adorned with gas, oil and=20
dirt.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">A couple of rags he had stuck in his =
belt,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And he left stains on the concrete wherever he=20
knelt.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">His eyes-how demented, his pupils how =
twitchy.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">I offered to help him, but he laughed out of=20
pity.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">His crusty old mouth, twisted up like a =
bow,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And the stubble he wore had a good three days=20
growth.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">A slow burning cigar he held tight in his=20
teeth,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And the smoke it encircled his head like a=20
wreath.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">He had a broad face and a nicely round =
belly,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">You could tell he liked his chair right in =
front of the=20
telly!</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old=20
elf,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of=20
myself!</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">A wink of his eye and a twist of his =
head,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Soon gave me to know I had nothing to =
dread.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">He spoke very few words as he turned to his=20
work,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And after tuning the SUs, he turned with a=20
jerk.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Then he turned the key one and hit the=20
starter,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Wow, she started right up as he hit the gas=20
harder!</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"></FONT>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">He sprang to his truck, to his team gave a=20
whistle,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">And away they all zoomed, like shot out of a=20
missile.</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">But I heard him call out, over a backfiring=20
blast,</FONT></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: =
14pt"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">=E2=80=9CHappy British Car Show to all and to =
all safety=20
fast!=E2=80=9D</FONT></P></DIV></DIV></BODY></HTML>

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