Subject: [TR] Breaking cover

From: JOHN MACARTNEY <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 8 Jul 2026 14:53:41 +0000 36jkPQojibvxFzsmXC/aZlmMXIjkq+8g8xwGgSTHs28QJ4FtG+ylqU1TBSnvHABisBToR2iVrdfk CrRquxWF6d3kYO9QuekV6utR7R0Vp0SbqyXPOlbeRuxjIaaXiAwdmWHqwdOsuaj175P+EcBsY6Io ykTbS2Pd2tWDsP3NPOy7LWOccGCQGFoEuBpPwVbzXTSVtJWrSYtrMnO3j0suNG7Ex8NaWDFug6Ge ayHt0EjpBtdurAWZhyMQtgUbynzGyZLKfaGbgwU51Lnf2gk8B0GJEo/5qFPpdDQEtOLzYyuI3szl JoXwj2fpGyo

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<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">It is timely to make a state=
ment which I will endeavour to make as brief as possible=2E</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">Attached is a photo of an en=
tirely original Triumph 2000 which hopefully will satisfy the topic police =
and keep this post relevant=2E I bought it many years ago and once it was r=
estored by me, I gave it to my elder son, Nicholas, who loved it with all h=
is heart and used it extensively as his dependable and superb daily driver =
during a very prolonged and incurable illness=2E</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">I am not writing this in the=
 hope of waving the =E2=80=98sympathy card=E2=80=99=2E It is an entirely pe=
rsonal and very private matter that is in no way relevant to this group alt=
hough recent developments of the last week need to be addressed=2E</span></=
p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">A few months ago, Nicholas d=
ied in my arms=2E </span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">He had had a quadruple heart=
 bypass, failed kidneys which though transplanted in 2007 had run their cou=
rse and a parathyroid that was in overdrive in the production of calcium th=
at was clogging his arteries=2E Surgery by that time was not an option as h=
is heart wouldn=E2=80=99t cope with the anaesthetics he would have needed=
=2E The last six years of his life saw him having four hour dialysis, three=
 times a week and the rest of the time was spent in a wheelchair watching c=
rap TV=2E At the time he slipped from this world to the next, he was in uni=
maginable pain, his medications could not subdue his suffering and notwiths=
tanding the love that surrounded him from his Dad, his mother, his wife and=
 his brother, all of us were there with him holding his hands and his head =
as his life came inevitably and inexorably to its agony end=2E Those moment=
s were utter and all-consuming hell, so if any of you have lost a child, yo=
u=E2=80=99ll know too well what it means to those who were there to witness=
 to the event=2E</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">However, life has to go on a=
nd to enable me to face it more easily without Nicholas - and to hopefully =
somehow find a way to rebuild my shattered existence, I recently submitted =
myself to a course of bereavement counselling which has just concluded=2E T=
his has done absolutely nothing to help my grief=2E Indeed, it has in fact =
made it many times worse and has re-awakened many demons from the time I wa=
s caught up in the Iran/Iraq war of 1980 where, as a civilian, and being in=
 the wrong place at the wrong time, I knew what it was like to be in 24/7 c=
ontinuous bombardment and strafing in which activity, I had to shoot an app=
allingly injured 16 year old Iranian conscript in self-defence with an AK47=
=2E War, and the inevitable impacts of violent death totally shatters you =
=E2=80=93 even if you have been =E2=80=98trained=E2=80=99 by the armed serv=
ices to cope with it, so I know exactly what it=E2=80=99s been like for the=
 people in Gaza, the Ukraine and other world hotspots currently in the news=
=2E</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">Now, all this has absolutely=
 nothing to do with any of you and its way off topic as well, but my wife t=
ells me that following my counselling, I am a very different person in many=
 ways=2E My daily behaviour has changed and my interface with others is oft=
en confrontational and completely out of character=2E My message to the lis=
t of last week is such an example, even though I meant no harm or realised =
it might cause offence=2E</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">I regret that action=2E</spa=
n></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">With that in view, I will no=
 longer be a list contributor and while I may occasionally flick through th=
e post headings in digest mode, I will remain silent=2E The level of posts =
is much-reduced anyway from when I first joined and those posts that do app=
ear, hold little or no interest to be worthy of a response=2E</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">But for those who may still =
wish to contact me, you know where I am and plenty of people have my email =
address, so if you need to contact me, please do it off-list as your post m=
ay risk deletion before being read=2E</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">I have nothing more to say a=
nd this whole issue is now closed and I must now somehow address the matter=
 of repairing my mind which I know from past experience will be a long and =
very hard road=2E The last time I did that, took twenty-five years and that=
 is why Glenn Merrell, Joe Pawlak and I created and ran the 2009 Trans Amer=
iCan charity drive which concept, as Glenn has said over last weekend has r=
aised the better part of a million dollars/Pounds/Euros for those with PTSD=
=2E</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">Thank you for reading this f=
ar, because writing this message has been far from easy=2E</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-line-height-alt: 1=
2=2E0pt;"><span style=3D"font-size: 16=2E0pt;">John Macartney</span></p>
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