Subject: [Bmcu] Letter from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

From: Ron Christensen <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2012 16:26:13 +0000

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To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty =
Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates f=
or President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves,
we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective imm=
ediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary=
.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties ove=
r all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which sh=
e does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America=
 without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulate=
d next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules=
 are introduced with immediate effect:
-----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' '=
labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' witho=
ut skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the=
 suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to=
 acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such a=
s ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communi=
cation. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know =
on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into a=
ccount the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, o=
r therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows t=
hat you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for =
shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or spea=
king to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more d=
angerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you=
 wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start =
driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will =
go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion table=
s. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you
understand the British sense of humour.
--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calli=
ng gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
-------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries ar=
e not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are p=
roperly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and d=
ressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
-------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually bee=
r at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as bee=
r, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to =
as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for poun=
d the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer.=
 They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.=
 American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that a=
ll can be sold without risk of further confusion.
---------------------
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good =
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play Englis=
h characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Wedd=
ings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with=
 a cheese grater.
---------------------
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of pro=
per football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, =
be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football,=
 but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing f=
ull kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host a=
n event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of A=
merica. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borde=
rs, your error is understandable. You will learn
cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the stin=
g out of their deliveries.
--------------------
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
-----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Gover=
nment will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due =
(backdated to 1776).
---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers=
, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus stra=
wberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor=
)!

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<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">To the citizens of the Un=
ited States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II<o:p></=
o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span><=
/p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">In light of your failure =
in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA a=
nd thus to govern yourselves,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">we hereby give notice of =
the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should loo=
k up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">Her Sovereign Majesty Que=
en Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealt=
hs, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does
 not fancy).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">Your new Prime Minister, =
David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for fur=
ther elections.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">Congress and the Senate w=
ill be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine =
whether any of you noticed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">To aid in the transition =
to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with imme=
diate effect:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">-----------------------<o=
:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">1. The letter 'U' will be=
 reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' =
Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping
 half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-i=
se.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable=
 levels. (look up 'vocabulary').<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">------------------------<=
o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">2. Using the same twenty-=
seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' =
is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
 There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your=
 behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account =
the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'<o:p></o:p></span>=
</p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">-------------------<o:p><=
/o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">3. July 4th will no longe=
r be celebrated as a holiday.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">-----------------<o:p></o=
:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">4. You will learn to reso=
lve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact th=
at you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're
 not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting g=
rouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a =
therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">----------------------<o:=
p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">5. Therefore, you will no=
 longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable=
 peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish
 to carry a vegetable peeler in public.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">----------------------<o:=
p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">6. All intersections will=
 be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side =
with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric
 with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both r=
oundabouts and metrication will help you<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">understand the British se=
nse of humour.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">--------------------<o:p>=
</o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">7. The former USA will ad=
opt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $=
10/US gallon. Get used to it.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">-------------------<o:p><=
/o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">8. You will learn to make=
 real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and tho=
se things you insist on calling potato chips are properly
 called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed =
not with catsup but with vinegar.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">-------------------<o:p><=
/o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">9. The cold, tasteless st=
uff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, onl=
y proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and
 European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lag=
er. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the =
greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They =
are also part of the British Commonwealth
 - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Fr=
ozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusio=
n.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">---------------------<o:p=
></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">10. Hollywood will be req=
uired occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also=
 be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
 Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Fu=
neral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese gra=
ter.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">---------------------<o:p=
></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">11. You will cease playin=
g American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it=
 soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
 to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does =
not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar=
 body armour like a bunch of nancies).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">---------------------<o:p=
></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">12. Further, you will sto=
p playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World =
Series for a game which is not played outside of America.
 Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, you=
r error is understandable. You will learn<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">cricket, and we will let =
you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries=
.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">--------------------<o:p>=
</o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">13. You must tell us who =
killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">-----------------<o:p></o=
:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">14. An internal revenue a=
gent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you sh=
ortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated
 to 1776).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">---------------<o:p></o:p=
></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">15. Daily Tea Time begins=
 promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with hi=
gh quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries
 (with cream) when in season.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span><=
/p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">God Save the Queen!<o:p><=
/o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span><=
/p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D">PS: Only share this with =
friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1F497D"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span><=
/p>
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_______________________________________________
[email-masked]
Archive: http://www.team.net/archive

--===============0607406574==--

---

From: Bruce Oblad <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2012 11:10:08 -0700

--===============1352273373==

--20cf307cfd640caf4a04ce64548e

Ron,
This has been circulating the internet for quite a few years (D. Cameron
was PM), but it is so cleverly written I always get a kick out of it.
 Perhaps there should be an item where QE II suggests that one need look no
further than Lotus for lightweight platforms on which to develop energy
efficient vehicles.  EV1 really was hardly an improvement on the Lotus
Elite and GM could have advanced their project by buying one.  We're all
well aware of the Tesla Roadster.  Elon Musk evidently drew upon Lotus'
experience with the Series 1 electric Elise done with Zytek.  The Dodge
guys also built an electric prototype based on a Lotus Europa, and the
recent Infinity Emerge-E is an Evora.  I think the ultimate efficiency
vehicle was the Opel Eco-Speedster diesel car which crushed speed and
energy records in 2007.  It was the oversized Elise chassis that eventually
became the Europa (not to be confused with the early Europa with the steel
backbone chassis.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvKYUM5NkWk

The Lotus Eleven was also an energy efficient racer.  The French banned it
because it kept winning the index of efficiency award, one which they were
accustomed to winning until the Eleven came along.

It tickles me to see the Caterham Seven still causing owners of all of the
latest supercars fits.  It was a glorious moment when the Superlight R500
beat the Bugatti Veyron around the Top Gear track.  I wonder if the R600
was built to beat the Veyron Super Sport time of 1:16.9 seconds and if the
Top Gear guys will let the Stig attempt it.

Bruce O.

On Tue, Nov 13, 2012 at 9:26 AM, Ron Christensen
<[email-masked]>wrote:

>  To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign
> Majesty Queen Elizabeth II****
>
> ** **
>
> In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
> for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves,****
>
> we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective
> immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English
> Dictionary.)****
>
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
> over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which
> she does not fancy).****
>
> Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for
> America without the need for further elections.****
>
> Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be
> circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.****
>
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following
> rules are introduced with immediate effect:****
>
> -----------------------****
>
> 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,'
> 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut'
> without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced
> by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your
> vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').****
>
> ------------------------****
>
> 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such
> as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
> communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let
> Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted
> to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of
> '-ize.'****
>
> -------------------****
>
> 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.****
>
> -----------------****
>
> 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers,
> or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows
> that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for
> shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or
> speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.****
>
> ----------------------****
>
> 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
> dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if
> you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.****
>
> ----------------------****
>
> 6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
> driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will
> go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
> tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you****
>
> understand the British sense of humour.****
>
> --------------------****
>
> 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
> calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.****
>
> -------------------****
>
> 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
> are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are
> properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
> dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.****
>
> -------------------****
>
> 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
> beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as
> beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred
> to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for
> pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the
> beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for
> them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so
> that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.****
>
> ---------------------****
>
> 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
> guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play
> English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in
> Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears
> removed with a cheese grater.****
>
> ---------------------****
>
> 11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
> proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
> time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
> football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
> wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).****
>
> ---------------------****
>
> 12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
> an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
> America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
> borders, your error is understandable. You will learn****
>
> cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the
> sting out of their deliveries.****
>
> --------------------****
>
> 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.****
>
> -----------------****
>
> 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
> Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
> due (backdated to 1776).****
>
> ---------------****
>
> 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with
> saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes;
> plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.****
>
> ** **
>
> God Save the Queen!****
>
> ** **
>
> PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT
> humor)!****
>
> ** **
>
> Donate: http://www.team.net/donate.html
> Forums: http://www.team.net/forums
> Unsubscribe/Manage:
> http://autox.team.net/mailman/options/bmcu/[email-masked]
>
>

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<div>Ron,</div>This has been circulating the internet for quite a few years=
 (D. Cameron was PM), but it is so cleverly written I always get a kick out=
 of it. =A0Perhaps there should be an item where QE II suggests that one ne=
ed look no further than Lotus for lightweight platforms on which to develop=
 energy efficient vehicles. =A0EV1 really was hardly an improvement on the =
Lotus Elite and GM could have advanced their project by buying one. =A0We&#=
39;re all well aware of the Tesla Roadster. =A0Elon Musk evidently drew upo=
n Lotus&#39; experience with the Series 1 electric Elise done with Zytek. =
=A0The Dodge guys also built an electric prototype based on a Lotus Europa,=
 and the recent Infinity Emerge-E is an Evora. =A0I think the ultimate effi=
ciency vehicle was the Opel Eco-Speedster diesel car which crushed speed an=
d energy records in 2007. =A0It was the oversized Elise chassis that eventu=
ally became the Europa (not to be confused with the early Europa with the s=
teel backbone chassis.)=A0<div>
<br><div><a href=3D"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DmvKYUM5NkWk">http://ww=
w.youtube.com/watch?v=3DmvKYUM5NkWk</a><br></div><div><br></div><div>The Lo=
tus Eleven was also an energy efficient racer. =A0The French banned it beca=
use it kept winning the index of efficiency award, one which they were accu=
stomed to winning until the Eleven came along.</div>
</div><div><br></div><div>It tickles me to see the Caterham Seven still cau=
sing owners of all of the latest supercars fits. =A0It was a glorious momen=
t when the Superlight R500 beat the Bugatti Veyron around the Top Gear trac=
k. =A0I wonder if the R600 was built to beat the Veyron Super Sport time of=
 1:16.9 seconds and if the Top Gear guys will let the Stig attempt it.</div=
<div><br></div><div>Bruce O.</div><div class=3D"gmail_extra"><br><br><div c=
lass=3D"gmail_quote">On Tue, Nov 13, 2012 at 9:26 AM, Ron Christensen <span=
 dir=3D"ltr">&lt;<a href=3D"mailto:[email-masked]" target=3D"_bl=
ank">[email-masked]</a>&gt;</span> wrote:<br>
<blockquote class=3D"gmail_quote" style=3D"margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1p=
x #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">

<div lang=3D"EN-US" link=3D"blue" vlink=3D"purple">
<div>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">To the citizens of the Un=
ited States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II<u></u>=
<u></u></span></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d"><u></u>=A0<u></u></span><=
/p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">In light of your failure =
in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA a=
nd thus to govern yourselves,<u></u><u></u></span></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">we hereby give notice of =
the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should loo=
k up &#39;revocation&#39; in the Oxford English Dictionary.)<u></u><u></u><=
/span></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">Her Sovereign Majesty Que=
en Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealt=
hs, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does
 not fancy).<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">Your new Prime Minister, =
David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for fur=
ther elections.<u></u><u></u></span></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">Congress and the Senate w=
ill be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine =
whether any of you noticed.<u></u><u></u></span></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">To aid in the transition =
to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with imme=
diate effect:<u></u><u></u></span></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">-----------------------<u=
></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">1. The letter &#39;U&#39;=
 will be reinstated in words such as &#39;colour,&#39; &#39;favour,&#39; &#=
39;labour&#39; and &#39;neighbour.&#39; Likewise, you will learn to spell &=
#39;doughnut&#39; without skipping
 half the letters, and the suffix &#39;-ize&#39; will be replaced by the su=
ffix &#39;-ise.&#39; Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabula=
ry to acceptable levels. (look up &#39;vocabulary&#39;).<u></u><u></u></spa=
n></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">------------------------<=
u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">2. Using the same twenty-=
seven words interspersed with filler noises such as &#39;&#39;like&#39; and=
 &#39;you know&#39; is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communicatio=
n.
 There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your=
 behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account =
the reinstated letter &#39;u&#39;&#39; and the elimination of &#39;-ize.&#3=
9;<u></u><u></u></span></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">-------------------<u></u=
><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">3. July 4th will no longe=
r be celebrated as a holiday.<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">-----------------<u></u><=
u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">4. You will learn to reso=
lve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact th=
at you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you&#39;re
 not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting g=
rouse. If you can&#39;t sort things out without suing someone or speaking t=
o a therapist, then you&#39;re not ready to shoot grouse.<u></u><u></u></sp=
an></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">----------------------<u>=
</u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">5. Therefore, you will no=
 longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable=
 peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish
 to carry a vegetable peeler in public.<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">----------------------<u>=
</u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">6. All intersections will=
 be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side =
with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric
 with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both r=
oundabouts and metrication will help you<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">understand the British se=
nse of humour.<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">--------------------<u></=
u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">7. The former USA will ad=
opt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $=
10/US gallon. Get used to it.<u></u><u></u></span></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">-------------------<u></u=
><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">8. You will learn to make=
 real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and tho=
se things you insist on calling potato chips are properly
 called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed =
not with catsup but with vinegar.<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">-------------------<u></u=
><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">9. The cold, tasteless st=
uff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, onl=
y proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and
 European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lag=
er. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the =
greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They =
are also part of the British Commonwealth
 - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Fr=
ozen Gnat&#39;s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further conf=
usion.<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">---------------------<u><=
/u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">10. Hollywood will be req=
uired occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also=
 be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
 Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Fu=
neral was an experience akin to having one&#39;s ears removed with a cheese=
 grater.<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">---------------------<u><=
/u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">11. You will cease playin=
g American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it=
 soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
 to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does =
not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar=
 body armour like a bunch of nancies).<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">---------------------<u><=
/u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">12. Further, you will sto=
p playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World =
Series for a game which is not played outside of America.
 Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, you=
r error is understandable. You will learn<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">cricket, and we will let =
you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries=
.<u></u><u></u></span></p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">--------------------<u></=
u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">13. You must tell us who =
killed JFK. It&#39;s been driving us mad.<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">-----------------<u></u><=
u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">14. An internal revenue a=
gent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty&#39;s Government will be with yo=
u shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated
 to 1776).<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">---------------<u></u><u>=
</u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">15. Daily Tea Time begins=
 promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with hi=
gh quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries
 (with cream) when in season.<u></u><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d"><u></u>=A0<u></u></span><=
/p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">God Save the Queen!<u></u=
><u></u></span></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d"><u></u>=A0<u></u></span><=
/p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d">PS: Only share this with =
friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!<u></u><u></u></span></=
p>

<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><span style=3D"font-size:11.0pt;font-family:&quot;Ca=
libri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;color:#1f497d"><u></u>=A0<u></u></span><=
/p>
</div>
</div>

<br>_______________________________________________<br>
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ns/bmcu/[email-masked]</a><br>
<br></blockquote></div><br></div>

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