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F1 Chicken

To: "VARAC Email Group" <varac@egroups.com>,
Subject: F1 Chicken
From: "little britain motor company" <lbmc@nexicom.net>
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 2000 07:20:36 -0400
>From John Greenwood:

The question of why did the chicken cross the road was asked to various F1
personalities:

MIKA HAKKINEN: "Why did the chicken cross the road?.....That's a tough
question.....maybe it's a question that you have to ask the chicken."

DAVID COULTHARD: "I was really surprised when the chicken swerved right in
front of me and crossed the road. I was expecting it to walk straight along
the pavement, but it just cut right across in front of me. I think we'll
need a ruling from the FIA if chickens are allowed to this."

MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: "The chicken is allowed to move over.  That is clearly
within the rules. The chicken can make one move to defend his line, but it
cannot zigzag backwards and forwards across the road.  What it did was quite
fair and within the rules."

LUCA MONTEZEMOLO: "The chicken knew that it could not get to the other side
of the road first. It had to wait for the rooster and let it through."

RON DENNIS: "The objective of the poultry individual in this situation is to
work towards the goal of an optimal road crossing.  We're comfortable that
this can be achieved using only biped motional forces. We would refuse to
compromise until a safe chicken arrival scenario had been achieved."

ALAIN PROST: "For sure the chicken crossed the road. But, for me, it was not
as interesting as chickens crossing the road ten years ago."

RUBENS BARRICHELLO: "I would like to dedicate the chicken crossing the road
to the memory of my great friend Ayrton Senna."

MAX MOSELY: "We have to find ways of slowing chickens down and making them
safer. For that reason, the FIA are changing the rules so that chickens
crossing the roads will be equipped with special chicken wing bodywork and
neck supports."

JACQUES VILLENEUVE: "So what the hell if the chicken gets run over? The
wanted to cross the road."

JAMES ALLEN: "Hey guys, you're not going to believe this, but, the chickens
are on a different strategy to the bantams."

MURRAY WALKER and MARTIN BRUNDLE:
MURRAY: "And as the lights go out, it's GO, GO, GO, for the duck as it dives
towards  "
MARTIN: "It's a chicken, Murray."
MURRAY: "Yes, yes, it's a chicken charging into the lead. I think it's got
this race sewn up."
MARTIN: "The chicken is stopped, Murray."
MURRAY: "DISASTER!! for the chicken! This has now thrown the whole badger
road-crossing championship wide open!"


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