Recently got this missive from a retired vintage racer....
It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were
younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive
and there isn't anything worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ken Kotowich. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Sue. When I took "early retirement" in April, I finally had the time to
spend on preparing my vintage racer and getting "serious" about a wonderful
hobby. Sue decided to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the
health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working I noticed she
was
beginning to show wear.
I usually finish working in the garage about the same time she gets home from
work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to
rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her...
Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on
the table. I generally have lunch with one of my buddies at their garage so
eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit
that
door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what
I
can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they
won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to
motivate
her to get them done before she goes to bed. I really think my old business as
a consultant helps a lot. I consider telling people what they ought to do one
of my strong points.
Speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I work all day on the car,
come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal, I'm ready, if you
know what I mean. Age has gotten her so bad that she actually dozes off during
lovemaking. But that's okay. Her satisfaction in that area is important to a
sensitive guy like me and if she enjoys sleeping during our little trysts, what
the hell, it's okay to someone as considerate as me.
Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more
quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just
can't
make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this; as she
finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm willing to overlook it. Not only
that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting,
or to Wednesday's or Saturday's car club gathering, or to Tuesday's or
Thursday's classic car cruise, or something like that, I will tell her to wait
until
the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do
some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.
If the weather didn't cooperate at the track, or I had a little shunt through
the green stuff or gravel, I let Sue carefully clean the car. You
know.....get the brake dust off the alloys and a little light rub on the
insects at a
casual pace. Changing the tires is hard work so I try to lift the hydraulic
jack
out of the truck for her. Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift
heavy stuff as good as men. But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened
during my after race nap, so rather then bother me, she can put it back in the
truck when she's finished.
Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example, she will say
that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her
lunch hour. But boys, we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and
offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days.
That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch
completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like
to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I
try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big,
cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.
And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for
me too and then take her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me
until I fall asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Sue. I'm not
saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it
difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how
frustrating women get as they get older.
Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your
ageing wife because of this article, I will consider writing it was well
worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...
Signed, Ken
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ken died suddenly Tuesday, June 3 2003. He was found with a Snap-On Torque
Wrench rammed up his rectum with only an inch showing. His wife Sue was
arrested, but the jury accepted her defense that he accidentally sat on it and
she was
released Friday, February 4, 2005.
Take heed!!!
John Deikis
aka Blunt Head Trauma
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