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new definitions

To: <team-thicko@autox.team.net>
Subject: new definitions
From: "Wm. Severin Thompson" <wsthompson@thicko.com>
Date: Wed, 15 May 2002 22:10:35 -0500
The Washington Post's Style invitational asked readers to take any word
from the dictionary, alter it be adding, subtracting or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some winners:

Intaxification: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone: (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashration: (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is, like, sending off all those
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's
like a totally serious bummer.

Decaflon: (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

Aracholeptic Fit: (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug: (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor: (n.) The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.

IGNORANUS: ....a person who is both stupid and an ___hole.

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