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Biscuits

To: Team Thicko <team-thicko@autox.team.net>
Subject: Biscuits
From: Roger Garnett <rwg1@cornell.edu>
Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2001 17:38:28 -0500
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NEWS : KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
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Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws,
and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some
groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the
windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands
behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for awhile became
concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's
eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked
her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in
the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for
over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into
the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to
remove her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister
had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like
a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough
and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly
recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone
noticed and came to her aid.
And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

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