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NO LBC Winders 2000

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: NO LBC Winders 2000
Date: Thu, 24 Apr 2003 14:33:40 EDT
With thanks to the lister who sent it to me, I'd like to share some lore of 
my "native land".  This came from someone in Arkansas, but you can substitute 
another State if you want.....
:o)

Annice & Bob
1960 Bugeye (Mk. IV in disguise) "The Sprite"
1966 Sprite Mk. III (Still in Boxes) "Trevor" 

WINDOWS 2000 ARKANSAS EDITION

Dear Consumers:
 
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 ARKANSAS 
EDITION may have
accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE of ARKANSAS.
 
If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The 
ARKANSAS EDITION may
be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2000, with a 
background picture of
Willie Nelson superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.
 
Please also note:
 
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN ARKANSAS EDITION:
Cancel............stopdat
Reset.............try'er agin
Yes...............yep
No................nope
Find..............hunt fer it
Go to.............over yonder
Back..............back yonder
Help..............hep me out here
Stop..............kwitit (WHOA!)
Start.............crank'er up
Settings..........settins
Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
Documents....... .stuff ah done did
 
Also note that the ARKANSAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or 
punctuation marks. Some
programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2000:
 
Tiperiter..........a word processing program
Colerin' Book.................a graphics program
Cyferin' Mersheen.............calculator
Outhouse Paper................notepad
Inner-net..Microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers......................a graphics viewer
 
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you received a copy of the 
ARKANSAS EDITION,
you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
 
I hope this helps all y'all!
Billy Bob Gates

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