(this is a resend)
Texas is another country. A nice country but only loosely associated
with the other 49 states.
We let Texans ski here in Colorado even though they think Colorado is a
part of Texas.
Another strange fact is that most of the beef in Texas comes from
Colorado.
Of course all of us westerners think that you eastcoasters are pretty
weird.
We just can't figure out why y'all think that Seinfield guy is funny.
But y'all got them lobsters that go with steak real good.
--
Jay "don't fence me in" Shaffer
On Thursday, February 20, 2003, at 10:32 AM, rbhouston@aol.com wrote:
> Peter C....just in case you swing through....
>
> Rules for Being in TEXAS
>
>
> The following list of rules apply to each person as they enter Texas.
> Know them and learn them.
>
>
> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>
> 2. Let's get this straight, it's called a 'gravel road'. I drive a
> pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
> going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
>
> 3. We have pigs, cattle, and oil wells -- that's what they smell like
> to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20
> and
> I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
>
> 4. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We
> have quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive three weeks
> a
> year.
>
> 5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
> Try to understand the concept.
>
> 6. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old.
> Yeah, we saw "Bambi," too. We got over it.
>
> 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we
> will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
> to
> your ear at the time.
>
> 8. Yeah, we eat catfish, and crawdads. You really want sushi and
> caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
>
> 9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
> religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
>
> 10. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get
> you jack-slapped, by our women.
>
> 11. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of
> age.
>
> 12. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
> Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two
> pounds of ham and turkey.
>
> 13. When we fill out a table there are three main dishes: meats,
> vegetables, and breads. We use three spices -- salt, pepper, and
> Tabasco sauce.
>
> 14. You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served
> over ice and plenty of it! You bring "Hooch" into my house it better
> have 4
> legs, a tail, and have a nose for quail, dove, duck, teal, or
> pheasant.
> You bring "Mary Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how to
> shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
>
> 15. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of
> sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon.
>
> 16. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
> Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
>
> 17. Colleges? Try Texas A&M. They come outta there with an education
> and a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups
> when they come home for the holidays.
>
> 18. We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other
> state, so, "Don't Mess With Texas". If you do, it will get your butt
> kicked by the best!
>
> 19. Our military is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man,
> woman, and child owns at least two firearms and has taken a NRA
> Certified
> Shooter Education Course.
>
> 20. Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston once said, "Texas can
> make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it
> without Texas."
>
> GOD BLESS TEXAS!!!!
>
>
>
>
> Robert Houston
>
>
> If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
> infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without
> even considering if there are men on base.
> -- Dave Barry
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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