Wires? And Humor. Not much LBC.

Hi,
Where do you guys/ladies with wire wheels get tubes?  The guy at Sam's
today said he could put tires on my wire wheels.  When I asked him about
the inner tubes he said that they didn't have inner tubes.  I said "Ohh"
and decided that I should go elsewhere.

Humor, heard on "Car Talk", famous last words:

Where do you think the mother bear is?
What does this button do?
It's only a rash.
I'll hold it, you light the fuse.
Hey, watch this!

Anyone have any to add?
Cheers,
Derf