The following seemed to require a bit of a response; nothing personal is
intended.
Rich
_________________________________________
Californians & Energy
"America has engaged in some finger wagging lately because California
doesn't have enough electricity to meet its needs."
No, America has been enjoying seeing California hoisted on its own
petard.
"The rest of the country (including George W. Bush's energy secretary
Spencer Abraham, who wants Californians to suffer through blackouts as
justification for drilling for oil in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife
Refuge) seems to be just fine with letting Californians dangle in the
breeze without enough power to meet their needs. They laugh at
Californians' frivolity."
Yeah ... that's it ... shift focus to the big bad environment
destroying federal government. Is Elvis involved? Aliens? A grassy
knoll?
And laugh at California's frivolity? Come now. We are reacting to
the greedy petulant behavior of Californians which sounds remarkably like
that of a four year old who wants more cookies: 'But, but, WEE neeeeed
energy, WE don't have enough enerrrrrgy to meeeeet OUR neeeeeds.' Hey,
California - aren't you being a bit demanding? Are you really that
convinced of your own superiority and specialness that you believe that
the rest of us are obligated - have a duty - to put your needs before
ours?
"Well, everybody. Here's how it really is:"
Indeed. Let's see if it is....
"California ranks 48th in the nation in power consumed per person."
Why don't we break it into power consumed by industry as compared
to the average citizen? That should move California into the top ten.
Strange that Californians allow themselves to be used as pawns by this
bit of fact twisting. Makes one wonder if the average Joe in California
really thinks he should be responsible for the power used by the big
company down the street.
"California grows more than half the nation's fruit, nuts and vegetables.
We're keeping them. We need something to eat when the power goes out."
As compared to what you eat when the power's on? Or does 'power
consumption' mean something else in California? If it is, the whole
problem could be cured by a diet....
"We grow 99 percent or more of the nation's almonds, artichokes, dates,
figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins, and
walnuts. Hope you won't miss them."
We won't. You'll keep selling 'em. (Prunes? For God's sake,
Prunes?)
"California is the nation's number one dairy state. We're keeping our
dairy products. We'll need plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators
can't be relied upon. Got milk?"
Finally, a chance to economically develop the rural centers of
America!
"We Californians are going to keep all our high-tech software in state.
Silicon Valley is ours, after all. Without enough electricity, which
you're apparently keeping for yourselves, we just don't have enough
software to spare."
A. No, you won't. Sales will continue, or simple economics will
force Silicon Valley to relocate. B. There's that four-year-old again.
'Quit hogging the electricity... or I'm telling!'
"We're keeping all our airplanes. California builds a good percentage of
the commercial airliners available to fly you people to where you want to
go. When yours wear out, you'd better hope Boeing's Washington plant can
keep you supplied. There isn't enough electricity here to allow us to
export any more planes than we need ourselves."
No, you won't. The company owners will bail in a heartbeat (I
won't even mention the problems with interfering with interstate
commerce), thus allowing another state good economic development
opportunities. And, really - what would you do with all the planes you
keep? Where are you going to fly them? I know California is a big
state, but who wants to fly around someplace that's dark all the time?
"Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance call, remember where
the satellite components and tracking systems come from. Maybe you could
get back in the habit of writing letters."
See above. Look, California, you really should have paid more
attention in Economics 101. If there is a demand, it will be filled.
Get over it (by the way, the rest of us don't need you, but you sure seem
to need us....).
"Want to see a movie this weekend? Come to California. We make them here.
Since we'll now have to make them with our own electricity, we're keeping
them. Even if we shot them somewhere else, the labs, printing facilities,
editing facilities, and sound facilities are all here."
Yeah. Like Los Angeles (smart enough to maintain its own power
grid) is going to give up its economic base. Can LA secede? We may find
out.
"Want some nice domestic wine? We produce over 17 million gallons per
year. We'll need all of it to drown our sorrows when we think about the
fact that no matter how many California products we export to make the
rest of America's lives better, America can't seem to help us out with a
little electricity. You can no longer have any of our wine."
Ooooh, not the wine, don't take the wine. Yeah -- you'll sell
it. And you know you'll sell it.
"You all complain that we don't build enough power plants. Well, you
don't grow enough food, write enough software, make enough movies, build
enough airplanes, or make enough wine."
We point out that you don't build enough power plants, have no
grasp of basic economics, are whiny and petulant, and expect the rest of
the country to go without its needs to make up for your failure to plan.
And by the way, the rest of the country will survive and meet all its
needs without you (you're not special, ok?).
We don't mind helping, but you have to first recognize that the
fault is your own, and that the responsibility for correcting the problem
is yours as well. We don't owe you anything.
Otherwise, there's plenty of farmland in the other states, film
studios will relocate, software can be written anywhere, and the rest of
the country would love more economic development opportunities. Our
standard of living will be largely unchanged, and will probably improve.
Of course, there will be a short changeover period while we strip you of
your industries, entice your best and brightest citizens away, and turn
you into the state equivalent of a third world nation.
Really, your 'threats' are meaningless. At this rate, Californians
will soon be populated by a bunch of poverty-stricken, overweight,
lactose-overdosed, too-drunk-to-write-software,
watching-bad-movies-in-a-plane-on-a-California-parking-lot,
blind-from-living-in-the-dark persons with the social development of
four-year-olds.
But, hey, you'll have showed us.
"Love, the Californians."
Correctingly, the rest of the Country....
///
/// (If they are dupes, this trailer may also catch them.)
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