Subject: Notice to Windows users outside of NJ
Important update from Microsoft regarding Windows
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 NEW
JERSEY EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside New Jersey. If
you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the
commands.
The New Jersey edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads: "WINDAS 98," with a background picture of a Turnpike
tollplaza.
When you start the program, instead of the usual "happy, stringy" music
you hear the theme from the Godfather. It is also shipped with a
Sopranos screen saver. Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled
"Bayonne"; My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computer; The Inbox is
referred to as The Trunk; Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked Out"
or "Rubbed Out"; Dial up networking is called The Bar; Control Panel is
known as The Bosses; performing an "illegal operation" is known as
"enhancing the family business" and will actually maximize the program
instead of shutting it down. Hard Drive is referred to as "287 Rush
Hour", and instead of an
error message, a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe this!" pops up.
Changes in Terminology in New Jersey Edition:
OK................................................Sure ting
Cancel..........................................Fugetaboutit
Reset...........................................Start Ova
Yes..............................................Yeah
No................................................Nah
Find.............................................Put a contract out on
Browse......................................Get a looksee
Back...........................................U turn
Help...........................................(Help is not available -
yous don't need no stinkin help)
Stop..........................................Knock it off
Start.........................................Move it!
Settings..................................Here's the Rules
Also note that any voice recognition software run on the NEW JERSEY
EDITION platform does not recognize the letter "r". Some programs and
other accessories that are exclusive to WINDAS 98:
Printa......................................................printer
Calculata................................................calculator
solitare..................................................seven card
stud
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of
the NEW JERSEY EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement
version. Yous got a problem wit dat?
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/// (If they are dupes, this trailer may also catch them.)
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