Things to do at Walmart while your wife / husband / significant other is
taking their sweet time shopping...
Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they're not looking.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I
think we have a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and
turn the volumes to 10.
Challenge other customers to duel with tubes of gift wrap.
Put a package of M & M's on layaway.
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only
invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why
won't you people leave me alone?"
Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while
you pick your nose.
Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battlefield with G.I. Joes and X-Men.
While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission
Impossible."
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.
In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different
sized funnels.
Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "Pick
me! Pick me!!!!"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
Go into the fitting room and yell real loud . . . . . . "Hey, we're
out of toilet paper in here!"
Happy Holidays
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