Where pets come from
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has
provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?" Adam
and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you
walked with us every day. Now we do not see you
anymore. We are lonesome here and it is difficult for
us to remember how much you love us."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion
for you that will be with you forever and who will be
a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love
me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how
selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new
companion will accept you as you are and will love you
as I do, in spite of yourselves."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for
Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was
pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with
Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said,
"Lord, I have already named all the animals in the
Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new
animal."
And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this
new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his
name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will
call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and as a companion to
them and loved them.
And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to
the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become
filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks
and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog
has indeed taught them that they are loved, but
perhaps too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a
companion who will be with them forever and who will
see them as they are. The companion will remind them
of their limitations, so they will know that they are
not always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve
gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they
were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.
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