spridgets
[Top] [All Lists]

A real spridget solution; WAS: Great American Gas Out

To: paul m <pmetzger@top.monad.net>
Subject: A real spridget solution; WAS: Great American Gas Out
Date: Sat, 26 Feb 2000 08:24:44 -0500
Cc: spridgets@autox.team.net
References: <6FC6FF0C755BD31188410000F8BDBBF493D2A5@snyc11312.corpny.csfb.com><38B774D5.EA4F1AE@top.monad.net>
I doubt that the organizers (if such exist) have any delusions that a 
drop in consumption resulting from a gas out would have any effect, 
even at the very local level. My assumption is that the goal is press 
coverage. This would have some effect, though an unpredictable one 
once the affair became political.

Given that my Sprite returns a fairly steady 33 mpg, I think that our 
best bet at effecting true change is to call for a constitutional 
amendment requiring all auto manufacturers to build, market, and sell 
spridgets. They would be allowed to sell other vehicles, but only 
under penalty. The penalties will be linked to the size and fuel 
consumption of the non-spridget products and other indexes that I 
choose (since I will be the car czar). Thus, in the US, Ford would be 
forced to sell 123 Sprites for every Incursion (I mean  Excursion) 
sold. However, they would gain points for every Euro-spec Focus sold 
in the States. DaimlerChrysler would be forced to sell 138 Midgets 
for every Mercedes-Benz sold in the States. The extra 15 spridget 
penalty is because we're already tired of Daimler's 'Uber All' 
attitude. GM sucks so badly that they will not be allowed to make or 
sell spridgets. Instead, they will have to take a financial penalty 
for every boring, rainy-day-in-dreary-old-Pimlico car they sell. 
Since this is all they make anyway, these penalties will force the 
demise of GM, and none too soon. Happily, the extra effort that it 
takes to hand-build the spridgets means that all those GM workers 
will have jobs waiting for them in the Ford and Chrysler plants. All 
auto workers would then have interesting jobs that require thinking 
and craftsmanship. Accident rates would drop as people would be 
driving cars that (1) they can handle and (2) they know will not 
protect them if they do hit something. Additionally, injury rates 
would plummet. We'd all be driving little cars that make going the 
speed limit fun, so the few accidents that do occur will be 
fender-benders. Finally, our dependence on foreign oil would truly 
plummet, greenhouse gases production would drop, the hole in the 
ozone would fill again, and spotted owls would roam the earth looking 
to kick butt on snail darters.

Now, if we'd all just do as I say...

---
On 2/26/00, paul m wrote:
>mike,
>       this kind of activity is a futile effort and probably would result
>in a false impression. just consider the stability of oil/fuel prices
>that
>is created by the futures markets in crude oil in 3 and 6 month
>increments.
>a 3 day boycott at the retail level would be about as significant as a
>pimple would be on the north end of a south-bound elephant.
>
>lbc content: adult elephants usually weigh more than a "stock"
>spridget!
>(your tonnage may vary)
>
>paul m

Jeffrey H. Boatright, PhD
Senior Editor, Molecular Vision
http://www.molvis.org/molvis
"Seeing the Future in a Very Tiny Way"

<Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread>