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Drivers (no LBC)

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: Drivers (no LBC)
From: Bkitterer@aol.com
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 02:37:13 EDT
Reply-to: Bkitterer@aol.com
Sender: owner-spridgets@autox.team.net
HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM

 * One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:  Chicago

 * One hand on wheel, one finger out window:  New York

 * One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on
   accelerator:  Boston

 * One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator:
   California.  With gun in lap:  L.A.

 * Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in
   terror:  Ohio, but driving in California.

 * Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head
   turned to talk to someone in back seat:  Italy

 * One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot
   on brake, mind on game:  Seattle

 * One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating
   between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake,
   throwing a McDonalds bag out the window:  Texas (male)

 * One hand constantly refocusing the rearview mirror to show
   different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse,
   brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on
   the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome . 38 revolver
   with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment:
   Texas (female)

 * Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window,
    beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna,
    cousin/spouse in passenger seat:  Arkansas

 * Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window
   level, driving 35 on the interstate in the fast lane with the left
   blinker on:  Florida

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